


Nation Concordances

by seyella



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Bad Puns, Dogs, Donuts, Feli is friends with literally everyone, Group chat, Human & Country Names Used, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pancakes, Waffles, You wouldn't believe me that i don't swear with all of the f-bombs being dropped in this fic, don't take this seriously, there's a lot of roasting, this is a mess, this is just pure fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-04-01 02:42:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13988787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seyella/pseuds/seyella
Summary: England decides to make a group chat for the nations to better communication. It backfires. Miserably.Rated M for the numerous sex jokes.  (Alfred has the mind of a 19 year-old boy. You think he wouldn't?)





	1. Nation Affiliation

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! There's always so many group chat fics going on, and they're never finished! So I decided to make one! This is going to be a wild ride~

**[England created ‘Nation Concordances’]**

**[England invited America, Australia, Austria, Belarus, and 27 more to ‘Nation Concordances’]**

**England:** Hello everyone. My boss has suggested the idea of creating a global chat to make it easier to discuss needed things without the hassle of travelling halfway across the world for one meeting. It was concluded that it would not only make the ordeal less costly, but it would save us the energy as well.

 **Germany:** That’s a great idea. I believe it will succeed with ease, especially in this day and age of technology.

 **England:** I’m glad we are on the same page. Does anyone have any ideas regarding the future of this chat?

 **America:** why did u name it “nation concordances”

 **England:** America, I would appreciate it if you were to refrain from typing in such a way in this chat. It is meant to be professional, so please, treat it as such.

 **America:** you never answered my question, though

 **England:** This chat is to deal with the concordances of nations. There is no less way to put it.

 **Canada:** I think it’s a good idea and all, but why couldn’t you name it something less fancy?

 **Canada:** YOU SHOULD’VE NAMED IT NATION RELATIONS

 **America** : YES

 **America:** nation association

 **Canada:** nation affiliation

**[Canada named the chat ‘Nation Affiliation’]**

**America:** I SUPPORT THIS 100%

**[England is typing…]**

**[England stopped typing]**

**[England is typing…]**

**England:** As I said previously, this chat is meant to be used for professional purposes. Please treat it as such. I will not tolerate messing around in this chat. If you wish to change the name (to something in relation with the initial), feel free to do so, but please acknowledge that this chat was not created to mess about.

 **America:** all i read was “falsdjfdlsjf ;dslkfj;ssdkld fdslkfjsdl;kjfklsdajfksl;dfj alskdurowiej;;kf;sdh;”

 **Canada:** hahahaha

 **France:** what is this

 **England:** Read the previous messages.

 **France:** Why did you think it was necessary to create this?

 **England:** Did you not read what I just said, or were you too busy admiring yourself in the mirror?

 **England:** Or worse, admiring someone else.

 **France:** …

 **Canada:** FRANCE IS THE COUNTRY OF LOVE, NOT LUST

 **Canada:** get yo nasty ass stereotypes out of this chat

 **France:** mATTHIEU

 **France:** I’m touched that you would defend me like that

 **America:** ROAST HIM MATTIE

 **Japan:** It’s not England’s fault he can’t get his stereotypes straight.

 **Japan:** Just like he can’t get his sexuality straight

 **America:** jA PA N

 **America:** WHEN DID YOU GET HERE

 **America:** im WHeEZIN

 **Canada:** JAPAN

 **England:** Kiku, out of all the people to say this… I didn’t expect you.

 **Japan:** i may be quiet, but i’m not boring

 **America:** he learned that from me ;)

 **England:** America is a bad influence. Don’t take after him.

 **England:** Wait. Was that a sex joke?????m

 **America:** im not a bad influence… even if i was, i took after you

 **Canada:** That’s not even a roast because it’s true

 **England:** You most certainly did not take after me. You have horrendous manners.

 **America:** no one else was raising me

**[France named the chat ‘roast england hour’]**

**England:** Why me???

 **France:** you started it

 **Canada:** he’s got you there, arthur

 **America:** ENGLAND LOOKS LIKE AN EGG

 **America:** HE STILL DRESSES LIKE IT’S THE LATE 1800s

 **England:** Wait.

 **England:** I look like an _egg_??

 **America:** HE GETS EASILY ANNOYED BUT HE DENIES IT

 **Canada:** Yeah, you never knew?

 **England:** I DON’T GET ANNOYED EASILY

 **England:** AND I DON’T LOOK LIKE AN EGG

 **France:** eggland

 **America:** EGGLAND

 **Germany:** With the way things are going now, I don’t think this chat would be going anywhere… I must leave due to this reason, but I wish you all the best with your experiments.

 **England:** No, I assure you, it will not be like this. These three are messing about, which shouldn’t be happening. I will be sure to resolve this.

 **America:** who wants to see a picture of a dog

 **Germany:** ...I’m listening.

 **America:** [image attached]

**[Germany is typing…]**

**[Germany stopped typing]**

**[Germany is typing…]**

**Germany:** That is a good dog.

 **America:** Right???

 **Japan:**  A BIG FLOOFER

 **Canada:** Of all the things for you to say, I didn’t think “a big floofer” would be one of them.

 **Japan:** I like dogs.

 **America:** [image attached]

 **America:** [image attached]

 **America:** [image attached]

 **America:** [image attached]

 **Prussia:** [image attached]

 **France:** I WAS CLICKING THE PHOTOS OF THE DOGS AND DIDN’T REALIZE PRUSSIA SENT THE LAST ONE

 **France:** Prussia that is the fattest dog I have ever seen

 **Prussia:** IT’S A GOOD DOG

 **England:** ...It is a good dog.

 **America:** WOAH ENGLAND CAME BACK FROM POUTING

 **England:** I was _not_ pouting.

 **America:** france, was england pouting?

 **England:** WHY DO YOU ASSUME HE’S WITH ME?

 **Canada:** Woah, bringing out the caps

 **France:** He was.

 **England:** …

 **America:** OHHHH, CAUGHT RED-HANDED

 **France:** angleterre, we’re literally dating

 **England:** Don’t speak your disgusting language to me.

 **France:** you weren’t complaining last night ;)

**[England left ‘roast england hour’]**

**America:** YOU MADE HIM LEAVE HIS OWN CHAT

 **Prussia:** is no one acknowledging the fact that france just told everyone that he speaks french to england during sex

 **Germany:** I acknowledged it but I was trying to ignore it.

 **France:** germany don’t you dare talk to me about kinks. Youre literally the kinkiest person i’ve ever met

 **France:** well not the _kinkiest_ , but you do come close

 **Prussia:** hahaha come

**[Switzerland left ‘roast england hour’]**

**America:** WHEN DID SWITZERLAND GET HERE

 **Japan:** Switzerland was never ready for that.

 **Canada:** NONE OF US WERE.

 **Germany:** …

 **France:** are we still making england angry or…

 **France:** SHIT HE LEFT

 **America:** no he right

 **France:** is there a way to dislike someone’s text

 **America:** not with whatever ancient messaging platform england is using.. Seriously!?! What even is this

 **Canada:** IT HAS “SHARE ON MYSPACE” IN THE CORNER

 **America:** MYSPACE

 **America:** THAT’S ALMOST OLDER THAN CHINA IS

 **Prussia:** ah… yes…. The old china jokes… a classic

 **China:** and it’s as dead as prussia is

 **France:** c cH INA

 **China:** :)

**[France named the chat ‘roast prussia hour’]**

**China:** i’m what the kids call… ‘cool’

 **America:** china no

 **China:** china yes

**[Canada changed their name to ‘Maple syrup god’]**

**Maple syrup god:** hey you can change your names on this!

 **America:** OMG

**[America changed their name to ‘America the beautiful’]**

**France:** _omg_

 **France:** i can’t think of anything creative

 **Maple syrup god:** YOU CAN DO IT, FRANCIS

 **America the beautiful:** hey do you guys understand my name

 **France:** I dont understand hwo we couldnt…

 **America the beautiful:** it’s a song about how beautiful america is

 **America the beautiful:** it’s a good song

 **Maple syrup god:** we K N O W

 **Maple syrup god:** you sang it at your birthday party last year

 **France:** OH I REMEMBER THAT

 **France:** didn’t he get on the tables and use a firework as a microphone??

 **Maple syrup god:** HE DID

 **America the beautiful:** i don’t remember that

 **Maple syrup god:** WERE YOU DRUNK

 **America the beautiful:** i may have had… a few drinks

 **Japan:** a few hundred, maybe

 **Maple syrup god:** ALFRED, YOU’RE UNDERAGE

 **America the beautiful:** I’M OVER 200 YEARS OLD

 **America the beautiful:** AND YOU’RE ONE TO TALK, KIKU

 **America the beautiful:** you’re not as innocent as everyone thinks you are

 **America the beautiful:** remember what you texted me that one time

 **Japan:** No?

 **America the beautiful:** during that meeting??

 **Japan:** OH

 **Japan:** OH

 **Japan:** I REMEMBER NOW

 **America the beautiful:** YEAH

 **Maple syrup god** : what did he text you???

 **France:** I’m curious now…

 **Japan:** DON’T YOU DARE TELL THEM

 **Japan:** I’LL NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN

 **America the beautiful:** whatre you gonna do for me?

 **Japan:** …

 **Maple syrup god:** TELL US

 **Germany:** I’m curious myself.

 **Maple syrup god:** YOU’VE EVEN GOT GERMANY WONDERING

 **America the beautiful:** all the more tempting…

 **Japan:** there’s no stopping you once you’ve started

 **Japan:** I’m leaving to save myself the embarrassment.

 **Japan:** Have a nice day, everyone.

**[Japan left ‘roast prussia hour’]**

**France:** He left, now spill

 **America the beautiful:** haha okay

 **America the beautiful:** when we first started dating,

 **Germany:** You two are dating??? I had no idea.

 **America the beautiful:** We are! We have been for a while

 **America the beautiful:** :)

 **Germany:** Oh… why have I never known this?

 **America the beautiful:** Kiku’s kinda awkward and not really open about it

 **Maple syrup god:** What did he say?? I really want to know now…

 **America the beautiful:** i was in a really important meeting with the pres and he texted me “would you like to be riding a honda?” with a REALLY suggestive picture

**[Germany left ‘roast prussia hour’]**

**China:** i can never see japan the same way ever again.

**[China left ‘roast prussia hour’]**

**America the beautiful:** YOU GUYS WANTED TO KNOW

 **France:** h oly shit

**[France is typing]**

**[France stopped typing]**

**Maple syrup god:** I don’t think France can find the words.

 **France:** what did you say in reply????

 **America the beautiful:** I WAS IN A MEETING WITH THE PRESIDENT

 **America the beautiful:** DID YOU THINK I COULD REPLY

 **France:** I’ve texted during an important meeting before

 **America the beautiful:** I COULDN’T TEXT BACK

 **America the beautiful:** THAT’S WHY KIKU SENT THE PHOTO AND THAT FUCKING PICK UP LINE

 **Maple syrup god:** al’s words are getting spicy

 **France:** wait where’s prussia

 **America the beautiful:** oh right!! He totally would have replied to that. Where did he go???

 **Prussia:** whatt i’ve benen ehre

 **Maple syrup god:** tag yourself im benen

 **Prussia:** shut up, i was busy

 **Maple syrup god:** doing what???

 **Prussia:** [image attached]

 **Maple syrup god:** YOU GOT TIM HORTONS

 **Maple syrup god:** WAIT?? ! YOU’RE IN CANADA??

 **Maple syrup god:** THAT IS A CANADIAN TIM HORTONS AND YOU CANNOT TELL ME OTHERWISE

 **Prussia:** yeah, it’s a nice country

 **Maple syrup god:** :) Thank you.

 **America the beautiful:** Dunkin Donuts is better

 **Maple syrup god:** YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH

 **Maple syrup god:** do not disrespect tim hortons name

 **France:** that is the most canadian name i’ve heard in my entire life

 **Maple syrup god:** Actually, Tim Horton wasn’t his real name, it was a nickname.

 **America the beautiful:** what???? realy????

 **Maple syrup god:** His real name was Miles Gilbert Horton

 **Prussia:** I LIKE HIM

 **Maple syrup god:** i knew you would

 **Maple syrup god:** you are the most canadian-non-canadian I have ever met

 **Prussia:** there’s a new prussia in canada!!!

 **France:** Really??

 **Maple syrup god:** gil and i are close

 **America the beautiful:** you guys literally make pancakes together every saturday morning, WE KNOW

 **Maple syrup god:** he makes really good pancakes

**[Prussia changed their name to Pancake Master]**

**Maple syrup god:** i’m actually the pancake master

 **Maple syrup god:** you can be … my pancake sidekick

 **Pancake Master:** No, i’m staying the pancake master!!!!!

 **Maple syrup god:** you haven’t earned the title that is rightfully mine!!! N!o!!

 **France:** you guys are literally fighting about who is the rightful pancake master

 **America the beautiful:** pathetic

 **France:** Don’t you dare say anything, alfred. You were ready to throw a punch at matthieu for saying that tim horton’s was better than dunkin donuts

 **America the beautiful:** IT IS THOUGH

 **Maple syrup god:** WHAT

 **Maple syrup god:** I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW WRONG YOU ARE

 **America the beautiful:** HOW MANY TIM HORTONS ARE THERE

 **America the beautiful:** BECAUSE THERE ARE ABOUT 10,858 DUNKIN DONUTS _WORLDWIDE_

 **Maple syrup god:** it’s the quality that matters

 **Maple syrup god:** which dunkin donuts has none of

 **America the beautiful:** YOU TAKE THAT BACK

 **Maple syrup god:** _i can’t take back the truth_

 **America the beautiful:** matthew, i swear, i am going to travel to canada to beat you up

 **Maple syrup god:** YOU’LL NEVER FIND ME

 **America the beautiful:** you have a canadian aroma

 **America the beautiful:** all i have to do is follow the smell of maple syrup and the sound of a moose’s mating call

 **Maple syrup god:** …

 **Pancake Master:** that’s spot-on

 **Maple syrup god:** GILBERT, YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO SIDE WITH ME

 **Pancake Master:** What’s this ? - I hear my name being called. I have to go.

**[Pancake Master left ‘roast prussia hour’]**

**Maple syrup god:** YOUR NAME ISN’T BEING CALLED

 **Maple syrup god:** dammit

 **America the beautiful:** he left, mattie

 **Maple syrup god:** I see that now.

 **Maple syrup god:** who all is here?? It can’t be only us

 **America the beautiful:** Francis is still here

 **France:** hi

 **Maple syrup god:** Where were you??

 **France:** I’ve been trying to think of a creative name

 **France:** It has to be in French because i know it’ll make england angry

 **Maple syrup god:** I don’t understand your relationship

 **America the beautiful:** same

 **France:** wait - what???/

 **America the beautiful:** What?

 **France:** you can see who is in the chat and online?

 **France:** LIECHTENSTEIN HAS BEEN HERE THE ENTIRE TIME

 **Maple syrup god:** ohhygmod

 **Liechtenstein:** Hello. ^^

 **France:** Did you… read everything?

 **Liechtenstein:** Yes, although some of the chat was going so fast I might have not caught all of it.

 **Liechtenstein:** You type incredibly fast.

 **America the beautiful:** ey whats hangin, liech

 **Liechtenstein:** What is hanging?

 **America the beautiful:** Oh!! Do you not know what that means ?

 **Liechtenstein:** No… I’ve never heard of the usage of such words together.

 **Maple syrup god:** so formal

 **Liechtenstein:** I’m very mature.

 **France:** Oh, right. You are !!! yeah, one time i went to your abode and it was so… spotless, so pristine. You act very much like a lady.

 **Liechtenstein:** Thank you. It was how I was brought up.

 **America the beautiful:** i wanna go to liechtenstein

 **Liechtenstein:** You should visit me whenever you deem an acceptable time. I’d love to have you.

 **France:** I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING

 **Maple syrup god:** So did i.. Why do you use american english???

 **France:** It annoys arthur.

**[America the beautiful is typing…]**

**America the beautiful:** I love you.

 **France:** <3

 **America the beautiful:** <3 <3

 **France:** <3 <3 <3

 **America the beautiful:** <3 <3 <3 <3

 **France:** <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

 **Maple syrup god:** what did you realise???

 **France:** LIECHTENSTEIN WAS IN HERE WHEN ALFRED SAID HIS COMMENT

 **France:** HER PURE EYES CANNOT READ OUR SINFUL MESSAGES

 **France:** Well, _Alfred’s_ sinful messages

 **America the beautiful:** shut up france, you were being sinful, too

 **America the beautiful:** YOU LITERALLY SAID THAT YOU SPEAK FRENCH TO ARTHUR DURING SEX

 **France:** What?? He likes it

 **Liechtenstein:** Oh dear.

 **Maple syrup god:** Liech! Leave before it s too late

 **Liechtenstein:** Switzerland had left previously… I don’t think he is attentive to the fact that I’m still present here… I thought it would be a good idea for the group chat, but I could see that England has already left. Are we able to enter again?

 **Maple syrup god:** you’re so pure, omg.

 **Maple syrup god:** And idk?? Maybe. al, try leaving and coming back again

 **America the beautiful:** Why me????

 **Maple syrup god:** Because you disrespected tim hortons name

 **France:** not this again…

**[America the beautiful is typing…]**

**France:** oh no

 **Liechtenstein:** I can just leave and see. I should go soon, anyway. Switzerland wanted me to have his opinion on something. :)

**[Liechtenstein left ‘roast prussia hour’]**

**Maple syrup god:** She’s so sweet

 **France:** she really is :)

 **Maple syrup god:** a cinnamon roll

 **France:** too good, too pure for this world

 **Maple syrup god:** I’m kind of bored now

 **France:** it’s getting late here...we’re like, six hours ahead of you, right?

 **Maple syrup god:** I’m in Ottawa, so yes.

 **Maple syrup god:** oh, brb. Someone just knocked on the door

 **France:** Really?? I wonder who it is

 **America the beautiful:** First of all, everyone knows that America is _the place_ for various Donut franchises. The modern donut had originated in the United States, and that makes the beautiful donut home to the United States. Dunkin Donuts is also older than Tim Hortons, Dunkin Donuts being founded in 1950 and Tim Hortons in 1964, which, I’ll have you know, is older than McDonald’s. Also, Dunkin Donuts is the eighth-largest fast food restaurant chain by number of locations in the world. I would try to find Tim Hortons on that list for you, but I would get tired of scrolling after so long.

 **France:** o h mzygos

 **France:** _alfred_

 **Maple syrup god:** IT’S PRUSSIA

 **Maple syrup god:** W AIT

 **Maple syrup god:** a ld fRED WHTA

 **Maple syrup god:** …

 **Maple syrup god:** I cannot… find the words.

**[Maple syrup god left ‘roast prussia hour’]**

**America the beautiful:** GET BACK HERE, YOU COWARD

 **France:** I’m leaving… I hope you resolve this conflict with Matthieu, but adieu, Alfred.

 **America the beautiful:** ADIEU

**[France left ‘roast prussia hour’]**

**America the beautiful:** It’s just me now…

**[America the beautiful named the chat ‘Dunkin Donuts > Tim Hortons]**

**America the beautiful:** hahaha

**[America the beautiful left ‘Dunkin Donuts > Tim Hortons]**


	2. France the Facebook Mom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are too many sexual jokes and roasts in this fic for my own good.

**[S. Italy entered ‘Dunkin Donuts > Tim Hortons’]**

**S. Italy:**??????????

 **S. Italy:** What the hell is this??

 **America the beautiful:** england made a gc to try to connect us or whatever

 **S. Italy:** That is the stupidest shit i’ve ever heard

 **America the beautiful :** it’s not the worst  idea, but it’s pretty stupid of england to think that we won’t mess around

 **S. Italy:** Oh my go d 

 **America the beautiful:** what?

 **S. Italy:** Why is my name s. Italy??

 **S. Italy:** How do I change it

 **America the beautiful:** go to the little lines on the left and click your name

 **S. Italy:** Alright

**[S. Italy changed their name to RomaNO]**

 

 **RomaNO:** So, who else is in here?

 **America the beautiful:** literally everyone else

 **RomaNO:** Everyone??//?

 **America the beautiful:** Yea. England wanted to communicate w/ all the nations

 **RomaNO:** But we’re the only ones online?

 **America the beautiful:** idk let me check

 **America the beautiful:** ya

 **RomaNO:** What even is there to do???

 **America the beautiful:** omg…. I have an idea

 **America the beautiful:** knock knock

 **RomaNO:** oh m y jzg od no please

 **America the beautiful:** knock knock

 **RomaNO:** Go away

 **America the beautiful:** _knock knock_

 **RomaNO:** Oh my god

 **RomaNO:** WHO’S THERE

 **America the beautiful:** etch

 **RomaNO:** Etch who??

 **America the beautiful:** bless you :)

 **RomaNO:** I don’t get it

 **RomaNO:** Wait

 **RomaNO:** What the actual fuck

 **RomaNO:** That is the worst joke I have ever heard in my entire life

 **America the beautiful:** oh please… that was nothing.., do you rly wanna hear a joke?

 **RomaNO:** I would say no.., but there’s nothing else to do, so whatever

 **America the beautiful:** _england_

 **RomaNO:** HOLZJOY FUck

 **RomaNO:** TJHAT WAS FLAWLESS

 **RomaNO:** IM CACKLING

**[Maple syrup god entered ‘Dunkin Donuts > Tim Hortons’]**

**Maple syrup god:** Alfred what the fuck

 **America the beautiful:** language, mattie

 **Maple syrup god:** romano has been swearing up a storm but you haven’t said anything about that/??

 **Maple syrup god:** w I AT

 **Maple syrup god:** THE GROUP CHAT NAME>?>>?????????????????????!?!

 **Maple syrup god:** I will not tolerate such blasphemy in my presence.

 **Maple syrup god:** and shouldn't you stop poking fun at England? He really only wants the best for you.

 **RomaNO:** england is a shit bag

 **America the beautiful:** haha

 **America the beautiful:** england is just rly easy to make fun of  
**Maple syrup god:** I can’t disagree with that, but shouldn’t you tone it down a bit?

 **America the beautiful:** shouldn’t YOU tone it down a bit???

 **America the beautiful:** meanie

 **Maple syrup god:** How mature of you…

 **America the beautiful:** thanks

 **Maple syrup god:** that was sarcasm, Al

 **America the beautiful:** i know…

 **RomaNO:** he didn’t know

**[Maple syrup god changed the chat name to ‘Alfred, shut up’]**

**RomaNO:** I like it.

 **America the beautiful:** HEY

 **Maple syrup god:** oh my  go d

 **Maple syrup god:** England, where are you ?? i have discovered something glorious

 **Maple syrup god:** [@England](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=England)

 **America the beautiful:** it’s me

 **Maple syrup god:** No

 **America the beautiful:** :(

 **RomaNO:** You can, like, tag people here or some shit???

 **America the beautiful:** ya

**[England entered ‘Alfred, shut up’]**

**England:** Brilliant name. I think I’ll approve of this. You tagged me? Finally, someone who wishes to use the application correctly.

 **Maple syrup god:** eh, i could say less

 **Maple syrup god:** but that’s not why I called you here!

 **Maple syrup god:** did you know that you can restrict certain people from changing the chat name???? But only you can!

 **England:** Omg

 **America the beautiful:** HE USED SLANG

 **Maple syrup god:** He must be happy

 **England:** I am happy. I know exactly who to use this on first.

 **England:** America, try to change the name

 **America the beautiful:** FUCK

 **America the beautiful:** a message popped up that said “error” and that’s all it shows

 **Maple syrup god:** Thank you.

 **England:** It’s been a pleasure.

 **RomaNO:**????

 **England:** Oh. I see Romano has arrived.

 **RomaNO:** yea, shit head

 **RomaNO:** Why was my name S. Italy???

 **England:** Well, you’re not the North, are you?

 **Maple syrup god:** could you imagine if he was the north, though? ? omg

 **Maple syrup god:** Would he have the personality of Veneziano ?? You know, because we’re based on our stereotypes and stuff.

 **Maple syrup god:** Wait - are the stereotypes based on us or all we based on the stereotypes? Is that how the Hetalia universe works?

 **England:** What are you talking about?

 **Maple syrup god:** Nothing, just thinking aloud.

 **Maple syrup god:** Anyway, how’s France?

 **England:** He’s doing well. I do believe that he’s sleeping right now.

 **America the beautiful:** Tell France I said hi

 **RomaNO:** France is a piece of shit

 **England:** You’re a piece of shit.

 **America the beautiful:** ooooooohhhh, England getting protective over France

 **England:** Shut up.

 **England:** I’m not…

 **Maple syrup god:** You are.

 **England:** I’m not! I’m just defending him…

 **America the beautiful:** Because you love him~

 **England:** WHy would I love him??

 **Maple syrup god:** Oh!! Alfred, his typing is getting messed up. Keep on teasing him!

 **England:** Sod off and mind your own business.

 **America the beautiful:** So you don’t love him?

 **England:** I do…

 **Maple syrup god:** You got him to confess!

 **RomaNO:** This is gross and i’m leaving

 **America the beautiful:** _sayonara_

**[RomaNO left ‘Alfred shut up’]**

**Maple syrup god:** [@France](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=France)

 **England:** Don’t you dare call him here.

 **Maple syrup god:** too late

 **England:** Oh my God.

 **America the beautiful:**...

 **Maple syrup god:** It’s been three minutes. Where is he??

 **England:** He’s sleeping

 **America the beautiful:** I forgot you were with him, omg

 **America the beautiful:** why is he sleeping? ;)

 **England:** He’s tired..? Why else would someone be sleeping??

 **Maple syrup god:** Alfred’s just making a sex joke.

 **England:** Oh my god. Don’t do that.

 **America the beautiful:** Sex jokes are at the top of the joke hierarchy.

 **England:** Where are you on that hierarchy?

 **America the beautiful:** What?

 **England:** Because you’re a joke.

 **Maple syrup god:** i’m lua ghing … england…. ily

 **America the beautiful:** You wound me.

 **England:** Revenge, bitch.

 **America the beautiful:** ENGLAND

 **Maple syrup god:** Let’s roast Alfred.

 **England:** Brilliant idea.

 **America the beautiful:** How roasted are we talking?

 **America the beautiful:** The light crisp of a marshmallow over a fire or England’s burnt scones?

 **England:** I’ll give you ten seconds to run.

 **America the beautiful:** Like you would come here just to hit me, ha

 **Maple syrup god:** I wouldn’t doubt england if i were you, al

 **England:** Matthew speaks the truth. Don’t doubt my motives.

 **America the beautiful:** omg

 **America the beautiful:** i have an idea

 **America the beautiful:** england, leave the chat for a second

 **England:** Why?

 **America the beautiful:** i need to test something with the chat. You know, to see how it works and stuff

 **America the beautiful:** it’s nothing against you, i swear

 **England:** I have a feeling you’re up to something…

 **America the beautiful:** dude

 **America the beautiful:** If I’m doing something to make fun of you in any way, I give you permission to come to my house and beat the shit out of me

 **England:**...Odd, but alright...

**[England left ‘Alfred, shut up’]**

**Maple syrup god:** What are you testing?

 **America the beautiful:** something very important…

 **America the beautiful:** Apparently when England leaves, the chat power goes over to the next person in the alphabetical order thing, and that would be me, so… _I can change the chat name._

 **Maple syrup god:** You’re pretty much just giving England permission to come to your house and beat the shit out of you

 **America the beautiful:** this is important, i swear

**[America the beautiful changed the chat name to ‘France’s Ass’]**

**Maple syrup god:** Um…

 **Maple syrup god:** I’m slightly uncomfortable.

 **America the beautiful:** oh, don’t be a whiner

 **America the beautiful:** [@England](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=England)

**[England entered ‘France’s Ass’]**

**Maple syrup god:** OH MY GOD

 **Maple syrup god:** ALFRED

 **England:** What the fuck

 **Maple syrup god:** YOU’RE A GUENIUS , I LVOE YOU

 **Maple syrup god:** I actually fell off of my chair because i was laguhing so much

**[England left ‘France’s Ass’]**

**[N. Italy entered ‘France’s Ass’]**

**Maple syrup god:** I GOT BACK UP AND ONCE I SAW THAT FELI ENTERED, I FELL AGAIN

 **America the beautiful:** Hey, italy. What’s up?

**N. Italy:**

**Maple syrup god:** He was so speechless that he somehow sent a message without any text.

 **America the beautiful:** skills

 **N. Italy:** Why is the name for this chat ‘France’s Ass’?

 **Maple syrup god:** wait…. Do you not understand?

 **N. Italy:** Not really?

 **Maple syrup god:** You poor, naive Italy…

 **N. Italy:** Is it supposed to mean something?

 **N. Italy:** Wait

 **N. Italy:** CHE DUE COGLIONI

 **America the beautiful:** He _knows._ Jeez, Mattie. Feli isn’t stupid, you know

 **Maple syrup god:** Oh m yg od , you know that’s not what I meant

 **N. Italy:** I’m kind of stupid.

 **America the beautiful:** omg

 **N. Italy:** The other day I was going to take the dog out, but I forgot the dog

 **N .Italy:** I just walked outside with the leash

 **America the beautiful:** o ha dmf alsdkjf;alsdkjf;asldjf

 **Maple syrup god:** me

 **America the beautiful:** Wait - You have a dog??

 **N. Italy:** I was watching her for a friend.

 **America the beautiful:** YOU HAVE FRIENDS???

 **N. Italy:** It was Germany.

 **Maple syrup god:** Oh, that makes more sense

 **America the beautiful** : What kind of dog was it?

**[Germany entered ‘France’s Ass’]**

**Maple syrup god:** ALFRED, YOU’VE GOT TO CHANGE THE CHAT NAME BEFORE I BREAK MY LEG FALLING OUT OF THIS CHAIR

 **America the beautiful:** Get a sturdier chair.

 **Germany:** I heard dogs.

 **N. Italy:** We’re talking about Aster.

 **Germany:** [image attached]

 **Germany:** This is Aster. She’s a dachshund and also the cutest dog you will ever meet!

 **America the beautiful:** omg

 **America the beautiful:** Ludwig, I’m coming to your house to meet your dog

 **Germany:** Alright.

 **Maple syrup god:** you’re just letting him??

 **Germany:** You can come, too.

 **Maple syrup god:** Tempting…

**[France entered ‘France’s Ass’]**

**America the beautiful:** I see a bit of a paradox here.

 **Maple syrup god:** M YFUCKING K CHAIR BROKE

 **America the beautiful:** Now you have nothing to fall from

**[Germany is typing…]**

**[Germany stopped typing]**

**[France is typing…]**

**France:**...Why?

 **America the beautiful:** excellent question

 **Maple syrup god:** Al wanted to make a sex joke when england entered the chat

 **France:** So it would say “England entered France’s Ass”?

 **France:** Clever, but America, I’m a top.

 **America the beautiful:** Really??? England told me you were a bottom

 **France:** Why would he do that? i ‘m definitely a top.

 **America the beautiful:** He was rly drunk one night and started talking about your sex life

 **America the beautiful:** it was weird

 **France:** England likes it up the ass, and when I say it, I mean my dick.

 **Germany:** Please keep such information with yourself.

 **America the beautiful:** rly??? I think england is definitely a top. He doesn’t have the ass to be a bottom. You do, though

 **Maple syrup god:** So England is a top??? I never would have thought that

 **Germany:** _Please keep such information to yourself._

 **N. Italy:** My pure eyes cannot take this.

 **France:** You’re right on that. England has no ass whatsoever.

 **France:** but- wait??? He really talked about our sex lives??

 **America the beautiful:** only when he’s drunk

 **France:** I brought this up to Arthur and now he’s blushing furiously

 **France:** [image attached]

 **N. Italy:** what is he wearing???

 **America the beautiful:** what the fuck

 **America the beautiful:** and he says i’m too patriotic

 **France:** [image attached]

 **France:** I managed to sneak one of him when he wasn’t covering his face

 **France:** And, yes. England has too many pairs of union jack clothing items for his own good.

 **Maple syrup god:** Are you at his house or is he at yours??

 **France:** Mine

**[America the beautiful left ‘France’s Ass’]**

**[Maple syrup god changed the chat name to ‘Nation Relations’]**

**Germany:** Thank you.

 **Maple syrup god:** You’re welcome

 **France:** Why did America leave?

 **Maple syrup god:** idk

 **France:** Oh well…

 **France:** By the way, have any of you thought of a name for me??? For the chat

 **Maple syrup god:** You have to come up with one yourself

 **France:** What about “Fruk me?”

 **Maple syrup god:** Yes.

**[France changed their name to ‘Fruk me’]**

**Germany:** Do you have anything better to do than make sex jokes?  
N. Italy: Germany gets really embarrassed at sex jokes.

 **Fruk me:** Oh?

 **Maple syrup god:** oh my god

 **Fruk me:** Alfred told me this joke once - let me see,

 **Fruk me:** Ah, yes

 **Fruk me:** Why did the snowman pull down his pants?

 **Maple syrup god:** oh no

 **N. Italy:** why?

 **Fruk me:** He heard the snow blower on its way from down the street.

**[Germany left ‘Nation Relations’]**

**N. Italy:** i laughed

 **Maple syrup god:** italy no

 **N. Italy:** I’m older than you.

 **Fruk me:** And I’m older than both of you

 **Maple syrup god:** _we know_

 **Maple syrup god:** you literally act like a middle-aged single mother

 **Fruk me:** What?

 **N. Italy:** a facebook one

 **Maple syrup god:** YES

 **Maple syrup god:** France is a facebook mom

 **Fruk me:**????

 **Fruk me:** A facebook mom?

 **Maple syrup god:** Yes.

 **N. Italy:** The ones always posting about how their blood is about 90% wine and always sharing the minion memes.

 **Maple syrup god:** The minions were a mistake.

 **Maple syrup god:** I bet France would be the type to unironically like them

 **Fruk me:** Minions??

 **Fruk me:** What’s wrong about liking them? I think they’re cute.

 **N. Italy:** France is a confirmed facebook mom.

 **Fruk me:**??

 **Maple syrup god:** italy, we should hang out more

 **N. Italy:** Really?

 **Maple syrup god:** I mean, we never talk, you know??

 **Maple syrup god:** Idk, i feel as if you would be really fun to hang out with

 **N. Italy:** (=ヮ=)೨

 **Maple syrup god:** where did you get that emoji and why does it look like you??

 **Maple syrup god:** i lov e it

 **N. Italy:** (○ヮ○)`ζ

 **Maple syrup god:** Is that supposed to be me? I love him

 **N. Italy:** France, do you want yours?

 **Fruk me:** You have one for me? I’m honored.

 **N. Italy:** I have one for everyone! :D

 **N. Italy:** ლ(´ 点 ｀ )ლ

 **Fruk me:** I’m slightly horrified, but i like it.

 **Maple syrup god:** I ‘m LAUGHING AT FRANCE’S

 **Maple syrup god:** do you have one for prussia?

 **N. Italy:** Yes!

 **N. Italy:** (≖ヮ≖)

 **Maple syrup god:** Oh asdjfjsadlkjfL:JI:DLDHFDLSKMMAF

 **Fruk me:** These are horrifying.

 **Maple syrup god:** @Prussia

 **N. Italy:** Why didn’t it link?

 **Fruk me:** Didn’t he change his name from prussia?

 **Maple syrup god:** Oh, right… he wanted me to acknowledge him as the ‘pancake master’

 **Maple syrup god:** which i will never do, by the way

 **Fruk me:** Your pancakes are the best

 **Maple syrup god:** :’)

 **N. Italy:** we should go to your place to eat pancakes some time! :D

 **Fruk me:** Excellent idea, Italy.

 **Maple syrup god:** fjdslksd

 **Maple syrup god:** You guys really like my pancakes that much?

 **Fruk me:** You definitely received your cooking abilities from me. :)

 **Maple syrup god:** Thanks, Francis

 **Fruk me:** ლ(´ 点 ｀ )ლ❤

**[Pancake Master entered ‘Nation Relations’]**

**Pancake Master:** what the fuck is that emoji

 **Maple syrup god:** Feli made them. Be nice.

 **Pancake Master:** Italy is here???

 **N. Italy:** Hi, Prussia!!!! :D

 **N. Italy:** (=ヮ=)೨

 **Pancake Master:** I’m clutching my heart… ur so pure

 **N. Italy:** : DDD

 **Maple syrup god:** Woah, three D’s

 **Maple syrup god:** he must be happy

 **Pancake Master:** that could be taken in different ways, birdie

 **Maple syrup god:** fuck, never mind

 **Fruk me:** mATTHIEU

 **Fruk me:** DID YOU JUST SWEAR

 **Pancake Master:** He always swears??

 **Maple syrup god:** Gil, _no_

 **Fruk me:** You told me you didn’t swear!

 **Pancake Master:** shit

 **Maple syrup god:** …

 **Fruk me:** And i always thought you were pure

 **Pancake Master:** Haha, matthew is anything but pure, trust me

 **Fruk me:**!?!?!?!??!

**[Maple syrup god left ‘Nation Relations’]**

**N. Italy:** Where did he go?

 **Pancake Master:** fuckuckfuckufuckfuckkkk

 **Pancake Master:** i hear angry footsteps

 **Fruk me:** I forgot you two were in the same place…

 **N. Italy:** Oh - is it Saturday morning there?

 **Pancake Master:** italy, i don’t need sarcasm. I’m fearing my l ife.

 **N. Italy:** I was being serious..

 **Fruk me:** You two have been suspiciously close lately…

 **Fruk me:** Do I spy a romance budding?

 **Pancake Master:** Francis, I fucking swear, now is not the time for your games.

 **Pancake Master:** I’m going to be a dead man in a moment.

 **Pancake Master:** Don’t you dare make any jokes about that.

 **Fruk me:** I would _never_.

 **Fruk me:** Prussiaisdead

 **Pancake Master:** _Francis_

 **Pancake Master:** You’re going to be dead if you say any more

 **Pancake Master:** H E ISHERE

**[Pancake Master left ‘Nation Relations’]**

**N. Italy:** What was that?

 **Fruk me:** his last message sounded like he was about to get killed in a horror movie

 **Fruk me:** “H E ISHERE”

 **N. Italy:** Canada is the killer.

 **Fruk me:** Yes… he is sweet, innocent (although i am having other thoughts after what Gilbert said), and kept to himself… _the perfect suspect_

 **N. Italy:** How would he kill his victims?

 **N. Italy:** Would he just stab them or slyly slip something into the pancakes he made for them?

 **Fruk me:** Oh… Knowing Matthieu, he would definitely be more secretive about it.

**[Maple syrup god entered ‘Nation Relations’]**

**Maple syrup god:** Stop talking about me as a murderer

 **N. Italy:** He’s going to murder _us_ now.

 **Fruk me:** _Oh no_.

 **N. Italy:** Did you kill Prussia?

 **Maple syrup god:** oh my god

 **Maple syrup god:** N O

 **Fruk me:** No need to bring out the caps…

 **Maple syrup god:** You deserve the caps

 **Fruk me:** I gasped

 **N. Italy:** I’ve got to go. It’s time for supper here!

 **Maple syrup god:** oh - what are you having?

 **Fruk me:** Let me guess, pasta?

 **N. Italy:** No.

 **N. Italy:** All I eat isn’t pasta, you know

 **Maple syrup god:** oooh

 **Maple syrup god:** you just got told by _italy_

 **N. Italy:** I’m having pizza for supper!

 **Fruk me:** Ah..

 **Maple syrup god** : Pizza is the best thing to have come from Italy

 **N. Italy:** Italian pizza is the best! (=ヮ=)೨

 **N. Italy:** When we’re at your house having pancakes, I should make pizza! We should all cook together!

 **Fruk me:** Can we invite China?

 **Maple syrup god:** Yes! Is that alright with you, Italy

 **N. Italy:** Of course!

 **Fruk me:** I’ll text him

 **Italy** : :D

 **Italy:** Bye, guys!

 **Maple syrup god:** Bye!

**[N. Italy left ‘Nation Relations’]**

**Fruk me:** Goodbye ლ(´ 点 ｀ )ლ❤

 **Maple syrup god:** You’re late.

 **Fruk me:** thanks

 **Maple syrup god:** omg

 **Fruk me:** Did you forget about Gilbert?

 **Maple syrup god:** yea, gtg

 **Fruk me:** Did you kill him????

 **Maple syrup god:** f uc king no, francis

 **Maple syrup god:** we were playing a video game

 **Maple syrup god:** i’m making some mac n cheese in the kitchen rn

 **Fruk me:** …

 **Fruk me:** is it from a box?

 **Maple syrup god:** n…..o...?

 **Fruk me:** You filthy liar.

 **Maple syrup god:** I CAN MAKE MY MAC N CHEESE FROM A BOX IF I WANT

 **Maple syrup god:** leave my choice of food alone

 **Fruk me:** I always make my food from scratch, so it can be the freshest it can be.

 **Maple syrup god:** Not everyone has as amazing cooking skills as _you_ , Francis

 **Fruk me:** Thank you :)

 **Maple syrup god:** I was being sarcastic

 **Fruk me:** So was I.

 **Maple syrup god:** I’m going to talk to Gilbert

**[Maple syrup god left ‘Nation Relations’]**

**Fruk me:** I’m bored :(((

 **Fruk me:** Someone talk to me

 **Fruk me:** [@England](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=England)

 **Fruk me:** I’m lonely. Come talk to me.

**[England entered ‘Nation Relations’]**

**England:** Thank God the name is changed.

 **England:** Hello, France. How are you?

 **Fruk me:** I wanted to talk to someone

 **England:** Well, I’m here now. What did you want to talk about?

 **Fruk me:** I… didn’t think i’d get this far

 **Fruk me:** What do you usually talk about?

 **Fruk me:** Boring stuff like the weather, i suppose

 **Fruk me:** How is the weather there?

 **England:** We’re in the your house.

 **Fruk me:** Have you gone outside yet today?

 **England:** We’re in your _country_.

 **Fruk me:** You’re so difficult to speak with, England.

 **England:** We are in the same house. Do you really need to speak with me over this messaging platform? I prefer to have a conversation with someone face to face.

 **Fruk me:** uuueueueuueehgg

 **England:**??

 **England:** Wait.

 **England:** _Your username._

 **Fruk me:** Do you like it? ;)

 **England:** ….

 **Fruk me:** Do you remember that one time where you were drunk?

 **England:** Oh, God…

 **England:** Which time?

 **Fruk me:** Compiègne, 2000.

 **England:** Which time was-

 **England:** OH

 **England:** N-no… I don’t remember that at all. ….

 **England:** I have to go.

 **England:** If you need me, I’ll be wallowing in my self pity in your guest bedroom.

 **Fruk me:** How cute.

**[England left ‘Nation Relations’]**

**Fruk me:** I guess I should leave, too.

 **Fruk me:** No one else is here, so...

**[Fruk me left ‘Nation Relations’]**


	3. The Thing With the Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nicknames thus far...  
> America the beautiful: America  
> Maple syrup god: Canada  
> Pancake Master: Prussia  
> RomaNO: Romano  
> Fruk me: France

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: I'll update this frequently!  
> Also me: *doesn't update for months*
> 
> Ah ! I apologise for the... long absence, but you know when you just get out of the routine of writing and you can't seem to get back in? I had that for various months! But now I'm back and will hopefully continue writing daily some more! Woo ! ! ! ! !
> 
> Another thing: Starting with this chapter, I'm using a wheel to determine which characters will enter the chatroom. Except when they call another person into the chatroom! That's just to move the story along... But when it's completely random upon entering the chatroom, that's a random wheel of characters I have so it's not the same characters every time. I'm literally so bad at characterisation. For each character I add, I read their hetalia wiki page and add little things from their personality into there. But, due to this being a fic of pure fun, it won't be extreme characterisation, as i'm just having fun with this. Don't take anything seriously!

**Maple syrup god:** i’m so tired

 **Maple syrup god:** am I the only one here??

 **Switzerland:** No.

 **Maple syrup god:** oh! hey switzerland

 **Switzerland:** You’re the respectable one, aren’t you?

 **Maple syrup god:** I assume you mean between me and Alfred

 **Maple syrup god:** I am

 **Maple syrup god:** go Canada!

 **Switzerland:** Did everyone else change their screen names?

 **Maple syrup god:** not everyone, only a few. Do you want to? I think it’s fun

 **Switzerland:** Is it required?

 **Maple syrup god:** No, but you can do it anyway, if you want.

**[Austria entered ‘Nation Relations’]**

**Switzerland:** _oh_

 **Maple syrup god:** oh my god

 **Austria:** Hello.

 **Maple syrup god:** but seriously, you should change your name.

 **Austria:** Change your name?

 **Maple syrup god:** yeah, the screen name. It’s usually a pun or something that says a lot about yourself.

 **Switzerland** : Asstria

 **Austria:** What!!?

 **Maple syrup god:** good, but overused

 **Austria:** Overused??? Who else uses it?

 **Switzerland:** _no one tell him_

 **Austria:** Did Gilbert start this??

 **Maple syrup god:** Ehhh, not quite

 **Switzerland:** Hungary did.

 **Austria:** What the fuck

 **Austria:** [ @Hungary ](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=Hungary)

**Maple syrup god:** please don’t call Hungary here.

**[Hungary entered ‘Nation Relations’]**

**Hungary:** Hello!

 **Austria:** Did you start that nickname about me???

 **Hungary:** Omg!!! Is it spreading?  ｡(*^▽^*)ゞ

 **Maple syrup god:** wait - it’s true???

 **Maple syrup god:** You started asstria, hungary???

 **Hungary:** Yes! I did!

 **Maple syrup god:** I just heard Gilbert use it one time and thought he started it

 **Hungary:** d i d  h e  t r y  t o  t a k e  c r e d i t

 **Austria:** Don’t space your letters out like that… It freaks me out.

 **Hungary:** i ‘ l l  d o w h a t e v e r  i w a n t

 **Maple syrup god:** it’s kinda freaking me out too…

 **Maple syrup god:** for my better judgement, gilbert didn’t take credit for it

 **Hungary:** Oh! Then that’s good :)

 **Maple syrup god:** just… for the record, what would you do if I had said he did?

 **Hungary:** _leave it up to your imagination_

 **Austria:** Oh, god.

 **Maple syrup god:** Gilbert… definitely didn’t do anyth in g

 **Hungary:** That’s good :) Again!

 **Hungary:** How are you all? (And, yes, Switzerland - I see your name in the chat)

 **Switzerland:** Hello.

 **Maple syrup god:** Elizaveta can go from the world’s scariest person to little miss sunshine in two seconds

 **Hungary:** (n˘v˘•)¬

 **Maple syrup god:** do you see what i mean??/ she’s horrifying

 **Switzerland:** I don’t think she’s that bad…

 **Switzerland:** It’s just a difference in personality, isn’t it?

 **Switzerland:** She can be a little aggressive… but I think that we are all at some points. I believe an equal amount of both sides in a personality is a perfect balance.

 **Austria:** why are you still here

 **Hungary:** RODERICH

 **Hungary:** be nice ..  :c

 **Maple syrup god:** oh… that’s true.

 **Maple syrup god:** You make a good point, Switzerland.

 **Switzerland:** I’m leaving.

 **Hungary:** Already??

 **Switzerland:** It’s either me or Asstria and I’d much rather have it be me.

**[Switzerland left ‘Nation Relations’]**

**Hungary:** Look what you did!

 **Austria:** Me? That was all him.

 **Maple syrup god:** iiim going to leave, too… hope you get… whatever this is settled

**[Maple syrup god left ‘Nation Relations’]**

**Hungary:** You even made Matthew leave :(

 **Austria:** Pssh.

 **Austria:** He left on his own free will.

**[Liechtenstein entered ‘Nation Relations’]**

**Liechtenstein:** Hello, everyone. ^^

 **Hungary:** Liech!!!

 **Liechtenstein:** ヽ(＊>∇<)ﾉ

 **Hungary:** I see you’ve been using the emojis i showed you!!

 **Austria:** Does everyone in here use emojis…?

 **Hungary:** You should use them too : D

 **Liechtenstein:** You should. They make everything cuter (v〃∇〃)ハ(〃∇〃v)

 **Hungary:** omg!!!

 **Hungary:** Is that us???

 **Liechtenstein:** Wait!

**[Liechtenstein is typing…]**

**Liechtenstein:**  *((♛‿♛))ハ ❀(癶ヮ癶)

 **Hungary:** There are actual tears streaming down my face. Beautiful.

**Liechtenstein: .｡*ﾟ+.*.｡(❁´◡`❁)｡.｡:+***

**Austria:** Where can… i find these emojis? for … curiosity

 **Hungary:** I see you’re finally taking interest in these emojis.

 **Liechtenstein:** Well… Hungary showed them to me. ^^

 **Hungary:** Feli showed them to me

 **Austria:** he’s not here, though…

 **Hungary:** Call him in here

 **Austria:** How do i do that?

 **Liechtenstein:** [ @Italy ](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=Italy)

**Hungary:** And if you’d like to undo it and not let him receive the notification, type “~@Italy~”, but this can only be done by the person who called him here.

 **Austria:**????

 **Austria:** How are you so knowledgeable here? I was in here before you, wasn’t I?

 **Liechtenstein:** Elizaveta and I use this platform.

 **Hungary:** We have a gc for the girls

 **Liechtenstein:** Gc?

 **Hungary:** Group chat… you’re so pure, ily

 **Liechtenstein:** ʕ♡˙ᴥ˙♡ʔ

 **Austria:** You have a group chat for all the girls?

 **Liechtenstein:** We do! Us girls like to have fun sometimes…

 **Hungary:** Do you remember last Friday night?? What Czech said?

 **Liechtenstein:** About the thing?

 **Hungary:** Yes!

 **Liechtenstein:** I couldn’t believe it! She has a secret side none of us knew about!

 **Hungary:** She definitely can be the life of the party when she wants to be!

 **Austria:** I have no idea what’s going on.

**[Germany entered ‘Nation Relations’]**

**Germany:**  o osp

 **Germany:** I didn’t mean to enter.

 **Liechtenstein:** Do you believe what Natalya said about that guy?

 **Hungary:** Which one?

 **Austria:** Were you watching the chat?

 **Hungary:** oooh!!! How could I forget??

 **Germany:**...Yes.

 **Germany:** I didn’t mean to enter.

 **Liechtenstein:** I couldn’t stop laughing!

 **Germany:** Simply for the fact that I didn’t know what to say in such a situation. I’m not good with girl stuff.

 **Austria:** Frankly, I don’t understand it much either…

 **Hungary:** It reminded me of that one time last May! With the things…

 **Liechtenstein:** I still can’t believe that happened!

 **Germany:** I don’t think they even notice us… They’re still going.

 **Hungary:** Me either! We really should go visit there again.

 **Liechtenstein:** Let’s do it!

 **Austria:** Are they blocking us out? Is this some sort of female nation superpower that we’re not aware of?

 **Liechtenstein:** When would you like to?

 **Germany:** That’s the only guess on my mind…

 **Hungary:** I wanna say a week from Tuesday if that’s alright, but I think we should go over it with the girls

 **Austria:** Should we tell them we’re here?

 **Germany:** It’s our only option.

 **Liechtenstein:** Oh, wait! Didn’t Emma say something about the thing she has to go over with Francis on that day?

 **Hungary:** What thing?

 **Austria:** We’re still here.

 **Liechtenstein:** That thing that she had to do with the thing.

 **Hungary:** That’s right! She did! I had forgotten all about that thing.  (´ω｀。)

 **Liechtenstein:** It’s so like you to forget about things!

 **Hungary:** I know! There aren’t even many things to forget, but somehow, i end up forgetting about the things!

 **Germany:** What is going on?

 **Liechtenstein:** That’s so like you, but we all love you for it!

 **Hungary:** Awww, I’m glad to hear that. You’re so sweet.

 **Austria:** Hungary. Liechtenstein.

 **Hungary:** Hey

 **Hungary:** You know what this conversation reminds me of?

 **Germany:** If she says something regarding a “thing”, I’m going to hurl myself out of this window.

 **Austria:** Make that two.

 **Liechtenstein:** What?

 **Hungary:** That one thing that one time.

 **Germany:** Oh my God.

 **Liechtenstein:** Hahaha! I was thinking the same thing!

 **Hungary:** No way! Our minds are like twins.

 **Liechtenstein:** (/｡>‿‿<｡\\)

 **Austria:** Girls. We’re still here. We exist.

 **Liechtenstein:** Wait - but when is the next time that we will all be together to make plans?

 **Hungary:** We were getting so off topic!

 **Liechtenstein:** Right? You’re so fun to talk to.

 **Austria:** [ @Liechtenstein ](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=Liechtenstein)

**Hungary:** Hmm… idk, but i’m sure we could just post it in the gc to see!

 **Liechtenstein:** That’s right! They always check that.

 **Austria:** [ @Hungary ](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=Hungary)

**Hungary:** I really hope it all works out!

 **Liechtenstein:** So do I. :) I had so much fun last time.

 **Austria:** [ @Hungary ](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=Hungary)

**Austria:** [ @Hungary ](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=Hungary)

**Austria:** [ @Hungary ](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=Hungary)

**Liechtenstein:** I’m going to go post it in the chat! I’ll see you there!

 **Austria:** [ @Hungary ](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=Hungary)

**Hungary:** You, too!

 **Austria:** [ @Hungary ](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=Hungary)

**Austria:** [ @Hungary ](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=Hungary)

**Austria:** [ @Hungary ](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=Hungary)

**[Liechtenstein left ‘Nation Relations’]**

**Austria:** [ @Hungary ](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=Hungary)

**Austria:** [ @Hungary ](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=Hungary)

**Austria:** [ @Hungary ](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=Hungary)

**Austria:** [ @Hungary ](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=Hungary)

**[Hungary left ‘Nation Relations’]**

**Austria:** [ @Hungary ](http://hetalia.kitawiki.net/index.php?title=Hungary)

**Austria:** Oh.

 **Germany:** …

 **Austria:** Have we ascended into another realm

 **Germany:** I’m beginning to think so.

 **Austria:** I’ll never understand girls.

**[Fruk me entered ‘Nation Relations’]**

**Fruk me:** Hello~

 **Germany:** Hello, France.

 **Fruk me:** Hello, Germany.

 **Fruk me:** Hello, Austria.

**[Austria left ‘Nation Relations’]**

**Fruk me:** :(

 **Germany:** Why did he leave?

 **Fruk me:** Maybe he disconnected?

 **Germany:** That’s probably it… I’ve never seen Austria leave without saying goodbye.

 **Germany:** Wait.

 **Germany:** There was a knock at my door. Please excuse me.

 **Fruk me:** Of course.

 **Fruk me:** I wonder who it was…

**[RomaNO entered ‘Nation Relations’]**

**RomaNO:** oh my go d no please

 **Fruk me:**?

 **RomaNO:** Is anyone else here?  An y one but you

 **Fruk me:** Germany is… but he’s gone bc someone was knocking on his door

 **RomaNO:**  flj dsal;sdfjalsdfa

 **RomaNO:** who would knock on his door

 **Germany:** It’s America.

 **Fruk me:** Alfred/?? Why is he at your house?

 **Germany:** I’m not sure. He hasn’t given me an answer yet. He just pushed past me muttering “where’s the dog?”

 **Fruk me:** Ohhhh

 **Germany:**?

 **Fruk me:** You gave him permission to visit you so he can pet your dogs.

 **Germany:** Did I? When?

 **Fruk me:** idk, like a chapter or two ago

 **Germany:** I don’t remember…

**[America the beautiful entered ‘Nation Relations’]**

**America the beautiful:** [image attached]

 **RomaNO:** is that a picture of you and the dog?

 **RomaNO:** which one is that? Aster?

 **America the beautiful:** yea :)

 **Fruk me:** Not to intrude, but, Lovino, how do you know the name of Ludwig’s dog if you hate him so much?

**[RomaNO is typing…]**

**[RomaNO has stopped typing]**

**[RomaNO is typing…]**

**America the beautiful:** you’ve got him there

 **Fruk me:** lovino loves germany

 **America the beautiful:** do you think that he only entered this chatroom for germany??? It must be

 **RomaNO:** what the fukc

 **RomaNO:** what’s wrong with you two

 **RomaNO:**  fukcing   n o

 **RomaNO:** i said i didn’t like him, not his dogs

 **Germany:** Oh… that’s a relief. I would rather have you hate me than my dogs. They don’t deserve that kind of hate.

**[Turkey entered ‘Nation Relations’]**

**Germany:** Turkey. Hello.

 **Turkey:** Hey!!!!

 **America the beautiful:** ayeee, turkey. What’s up?

 **Turkey:** Who created this chat?

 **America the beautiful:** England

 **America the beautiful:** he wanted to like, better our conversation or something

 **Turkey:** are all of the nations here?

 **Germany:** Not all of them, for obvious reasons. I still believe that England’s idea to gather us here so we could discuss nation things was a good idea, but from all that I have seen, there only seems to be fooling around.

 **America the beautiful:** well, we’re not going to be boring like england wants 24/7

 **Turkey:** I’m good with talking about non-business things

 **Turkey:** it gets boring

 **Turkey:** I have a question, though.

 **Germany:** Yes, what is it?

 **Turkey:** _Why are we speaking English?_

 **Germany:** Because… be.c...ause… uh

 **Germany:** That’s a good point.

 **Turkey:** Görüşürüz, İngilizce konuşmayacağım

 **Germany:** Should I as well…? I do believe that we should widen the horizons with the languages used in here.

 **America the beautiful:** I agree… but wouldn’t it be weird talking in all different languages?

 **America the beautiful:** we would all have to translate each thing in our head and then reply

 **RomaNO:** Perché non parliamo le nostre lingue native?

 **Fruk me:** America, I think that you’re only saying that because English is one of your main languages.

 **America the beautiful:** Hey! The United States has no official language!!!

 **Fruk me:** Actually.

 **RomaNO:**?

 **Fruk me:** let’s roast america

 **America the beautiful:** What!!!!!

 **RomaNO:**!

**[America the beautiful left ‘Nation Relations’]**

**[America the beautiful entered ‘Nation Relations’]**

**[America the beautiful named the chat ‘you guys are mean’]**

**[America the beautiful left ‘you guys are mean’]**

**Fruk me:** I’ll get him back…

 **RomaNO:** not that i would want to be in the same chat as you or something, but can you call me back in here when you do? I’m always up for roasts

 **Fruk me:** Despite your utter rudeness to me, I will.

 **RomaNO:** I’m gonna go

**[RomaNO left ‘you guys are mean’]**

**Fruk me:** I should, too. Are you still here, Ludwig?

 **Germany:** Yes, but if everyone else is going, I suppose I will, too.

 **Fruk me:** It’s about supper time and England is still visiting. I’m going to surprise him with something…

 **Fruk me:** What do you think he will like?

 **Germany:** Cardboard.

 **Fruk me:** I laughed at that one. I didn’t know you had it in you to make jokes.

 **Germany:** Jokes…?

 **Fruk me:** Still.. don’t give Arthur such a hard time~

 **Fruk me:** Well, I’ll be going now. Au revoir~!

**[Fruk me left ‘you guys are mean’]**

**Germany:** i.,. i was being serious

**[Germany left ‘you guys are mean’]**

**Turkey:** I think he forgot about me

 **Turkey:** i wanted to talk to people.. But now everyone is gone

 **Turkey:** I guess i can change my name on here

 **Turkey:** should i go for something funny…? That’s apparently the style around here

**[Turkey changed their name to ‘Turkey sandwich with cheese’]**

**Turkey:** thanks for the name… spain

**[Turkey sandwich with cheese left ‘you guys are mean’]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A group chat for the aph girls was something i never knew i needed until now.


	4. MICRONATION DOMINATION

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woaaah, it's me! Updating after forever. It's been over two months and I only come back with a small chapter! I've started uni (in a different country~~~ oh my~~~), so I've been busy! Seriously busy :o. I totally procrastinated on writing a six-page paper until the last minute, so I promised myself, as a reward for finishing it, that I would continue this! I'm not really going in any direction with this and just having fun with it! That's the best thing you can do with a fic, I have learnt. :D I also have lots of insecurities and embarrassments whilst writing, but as long as I'm having fun writing it, I tell myself it's okay! I'll try to update more often. Enough of the cheesy words, though. Onward!

**[England entered ‘you guys are mean’]**

**[Germany entered ‘you guys are mean’]**

**England:** Germany, hello.

 **Germany:** Good morning, England.

 **England:** Yes… You as well.

 **England:** Is America still at your house?

 **Germany:** No… I believe he went to Gilbert’s house for a reason that he would not tell me.

 **England:** O h my god

 **England:** He probably went to vandalise it or something.

 **Germany:** …

 **England:** Anyway, if you see him, can you tell him to contact me immediately?

 **Germany:** Why? Is there something you need to discuss with him?

 **England:** Of course not. I justifghzfufsigdcbkcbckkykg

 **Germany:**?

 **England:** ufsufsufsofdogkgxufzufzjgpivgidjzfyjdx

 **Germany:** Is everything alright?

 **England:** I’m finehousfizf. Franceis jukgkxv

**[Fruk me entered ‘you guys are mean’]**

**Fruk me:** England wanted to ask America for the photos of your dogs he took.

 **England:** oh my god

 **Germany:** I see…

 **Fruk me:** I tried telling you on England’s phone, but he kept on slapping my hands away.

 **England:** Of course I did…

 **Germany:** [image attached]

 **Germany:** [image attached]

 **Germany:** [image attached]

 **Fruk me:** [image attached]

 **Fruk me:** HE’S SMILING

 **England:** WH

 **England:** DELETE THAT, YOU DIV

 **Fruk me:** Is England embarrassed~~?

 **England:** DON’T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT

 **England:** AND OF COURSE I’M NOT EMBARRASSED.

 **Fruk me:** @america the beautiful

 **England:** ohmy god

 **England:** France, _please_

 **Fruk me:** Please send more? If you insist.

 **England:** THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT

**[America the beautiful entered ‘you guys are mean’]**

**America the beautiful:** *does a barrel roll through the window*

 **America the beautiful:** IM HERE, LOSERS

 **England:** My eyes just rolled into the back of my head.

 **America the beautiful:** you should get that checked out

 **Fruk me:** [image attached]

 **England:** DON’T SEND IT AGAIN.

 **Fruk me:** _relax._ If you open it, you’ll see that it’s a different photo I sent.

 **America the beautiful:** _oh_

 **England:** WHAT

 **England:** I DONT LIKE HIS REACTION. WHAT DID YOU AEND

 **Fruk me:** check it out~~~

 **America the beautiful:** awhhh

 **America the beautiful:** is that a photo of u??

 **Germany:** I can’t believe this.

 **England:** I know. They’re being incredibly immature.

 **Germany:** No, I mean, I can’t believe you blushed looking at a photograph of France.

 **England:** wh

 **England:** WHEN DID YOU TAKE ThAt

 **Fruk me:** when _didn’t_ I take that

 **England:** You’re acting like America now.

 **America the beautiful:** N I C E

 **England:** Shut up, America.

**[Fruk me changed the chat’s name to ‘England is cute’]**

**England:** SHUT UP, FRANCE.

 **Fruk me:** Why don’t you make me~~~

 **America the beautiful:** ooooooo

 **Germany:** Is France flirting with him?

 **America the beautiful:** I think so

 **England:** I’ll make you by putting a fist to your face

 **America the beautiful:** OOOOOOO

 **Fruk me:** I’d rather you kiss me~~~

 **Germany:** What’s happening now?

 **America the beautiful:** Here you have France attempting to make England flustered, and apparently succeeding.

 **England:** I CAN READ YOUR MESSAGES

 **America the beautiful:** And here you have the wild France attempting to seduce the feeble England.

 **England:** THIS ISN`T A NATURE DOCUMENTARY

 **America the beautiful:** The meek England denies his feelings, but the France continues his mission, stopping at nothing to win over the England.

**[Australia entered ‘England is cute’]**

**America the beautiful:** The wild Australia makes an appearance.

 **England:** DON`T DRAG AUSTRALIA INTO THIS

 **Australia:** The wild Australia enters curiously.

 **England:** Oh my god.

 **Fruk me:** The England lowers his aggressive tone, perhaps finally submitting to the robust France.

 **England:** robust ??? France/ ??

 **America the beautiful:** why does france sound like he`s using a thesaurus

 **Fruk me:** i am

 **Australia:** I have a question.

 **England:**?

 **Australia:** Why is France`s name fruk?

 **America the beautiful:** australia no

 **England:** AUSTRALIA NO

 **Fruk me:** Well, one night in a beautiful city of mine eighteen years ago or so~

 **Fruk me:** Angleterre and I were attending a party and he got very drunk.

 **England:** oadjfalshmyo god no o

 **Fruk me:** Soo oa sdjfì~IÒIEjakdjsÌAJFP~#*

 **Germany:** I never know what's going on here.

 **America the beautiful:** GEMRAN Y

 **America the beautiful:** I FORGOT YOU WERE HERE

 **Germany:** Did England take France’s phone this time…?

 **America the beautiful:** I think

 **Australia:** who am i

 **Australia:** a;lkdjf;kladsjfkasdfladskjf

 **America the beautiful:** ;lakdsjflaskdjf;kasdjfiasd8;

 **Australia:** ;lasjkdflkadsjfoawiejfa

 **America the beautiful:** a;ldjfadskjfasdfoiaw9

 **Australia:** ;alsdjfaksdj

 **America the beautiful:** ;ajsdf;klasdjf;a

**[Germany left `England is cute`]**

**America the beautiful:** GERMANY NO

 **Australia:** He couldn’t handle our intellectual conversation.

 **America the beautiful:** it all makes sense now

**[France left ‘England is cute’]**

**[England left ‘England is cute’]**

**Australia:** where’ve they gone ??

 **America the beautiful:** …

 **Australia:** …

 **America the beautiful:** hey, you like messing with england, don’t you?

 **Australia:** _yes_

**[America the beautiful added ‘Sealand’ to ‘England is cute’]**

**America the beautiful:** hahahaha

 **Australia:** You can’t just add Sealand

 **America the beautiful:** I thought you would be with me on this :o

 **Australia:** you have to add _all_ the micronations

 **America the beautiful:** ……have i ever told u how much i love u

 **Australia:** I only have Wy`s info, though

 **America the beautiful:** that`s cool, we can just ask peter for the rest

**[Australia added ‘Wy’ to ‘England is cute’]**

**America the beautiful:** Oh, god, but let’s change this name

**[America the beautiful changed the chat name to ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**[Sealand entered ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**Sealand:** thank you for inviting me ! :D  
**Sealand:** it looked so fun… but no one invited me

 **America the beautiful:** wait,.. It looked fun??

 **America the beautiful:** how did u see it?

 **Sealand:** Prussia was posting screenshots on his twitter

 **America the beautiful:** Dammit, Prussia

 **Sealand:** it looked fun :(

 **Sealand:** but now i’m here ! : D: D

 **America the beautiful:** yep! I couldn’t have a chat without my favorite micronation!

 **Sealand:** :D

**[Wy entered ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**Wy:** Is this the groupchat Sealand was going on about??

 **Sealand:** It is ! can you believe we`re actually invited?

 **Wy:** I didn’t really care about being invited

 **Sealand:** but didn’t you say it sounded fun the other day?

 **Wy:** No!

 **Sealand:** oh! :o I thought you did

 **Wy:** You thought wrong

 **America the beautiful:** oooooooo

 **Sealand:** Hmph

 **America the beautiful:** Aren’t you gonna change ur name?

 **Sealand:** oh!!!

 **America the beautiful:** you too, wy and australia

 **Australia:** Change it? How?

 **Sealand:** click the lines next to your name!

 **America the beautiful:** you learn quick!!!

 **Sealand:** :D

 **Wy:** my name is like two letters

 **Wy:** I can’t think of anything creative.

 **Sealand:** There’s lots of things you can make with that!  
**Wy:** Like what?

 **Sealand:** Wy is wy such a tsundere

 **Wy:** WHAT

 **Australia:** I don’t think Wy is a tsundere !

 **Wy:** Thank you!!!  
**America the beautiful:** I’ve gotta go with seadawg on this one

 **Sealand:** seadawg :o

 **Wy:** Are you gonna change your name to that?

 **Sealand:** Yes!!!  
**Sealand:** Seadawg :D

 **America the beautiful:** It’s better than seaman

**[Sealand changed their name to ‘Seadawg’]**

**America the beautiful:** I WILL NOT REST UNTIL EVERYONE IN THIS GROUP CHAT HAS CHANGED THEIR NAME TO SOMETHING WITTY AND CREATIVE.

 **Wy:** When are you going to change yours?

 **America the beautiful:**!!!

 **Australia:** wY

 **Australia:** Good one

 **Wy:** :)

 **America the beautiful:** you guys are mean!!!

 **Wy:** _the truth hurts_

 **Australia:** haha

**[Wy changed their name to ‘roastmaster wy’]**

**Wy:** B)

 **America the beautiful:** noooo

 **America the beautiful:** Roasting America hour will never come!!!

 

**[America the beautiful left ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**Wy:** _it will_

 **Wy:** _just you wait_

**[Wy left ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**[Australia left ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**Seadawg:** I’m alone :(

 **Seadawg:** This means i’m in charge then, doesn’t it!!

 **Seadawg:** Seadawg in the hizzy B)

**[Russia entered ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**Russia:** Micronation domination..?

 **Seadawg:** Russia!

 **Russia:** Who is… Seadawg?

 **Seadawg:** That’s right! I bet you didn’t recognise me because of my super cool nickname, huh?

 **Seadawg:** I’m Sealand! The future strongest nation in the world!

 **Russia:** Who is… Sealand?

 **Seadawg:** 。・゜・(ノД`)・゜・。

 **Russia:** Oh… yes, I remember you. You are a friend of Latvia’s, yes?

 **Seadawg:** Oh!!!! Did he talk about me? :D

 **Seadawg:** Latvia is my friend!

 **Russia:** Yes… He has mentioned you a few times.

**[Latvia entered ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**Latvia:** Micronation Domination…?  I have a feeling that Sealand was a part of this.

 **Seadawg:** Hey! It wasn’t me… It was America…

 **Latvia:** Oh! Sealand… I did not know you were here.

 **Seadawg:** Yep :D

 **Latvia:** Is there anyone else here or are we alone?

 **Russia:** I am here. ^^

 **Latvia:**  o h

 **Russia:** Hello Latvia :)

 **Latvia:** Hello.. Russia.

 **Russia:** How are you?

 **Latvia:** I.. I am good. How are you?

 **Russia:** Good, as well. :)

 **Seadawg:** GUYS

 **Latvia:**?

 **Seadawg:** [ http://oxot.com/banana-shoes/ ](http://oxot.com/banana-shoes/)

**Latvia:**...banana shoes?

 **Seadawg:** I guess you could call them… slippers.

**[Russia left ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**Latvia:** oh m y og dh se al a nnd

 **Latvia:** YOU MADE RUSSIA LEAVE

 **Seadawg:** It’s a good joke…

 **Latvia:** It’s clever.. I’ll give you that.

 **Seadawg:** So you liked it? :D

 **Latvia:** …

**[Latvia left ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

 

 **Seadawg:** oh

 **Seadawg:** :(

**[Seadawg left ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kid you not, when I spun the wheel of characters to decide who should enter next, it landed on Latvia right when they were talking about him. It was weird~. Oh, and Sealand is very fun to write. I want to pat him c: (My updates may be slow, as i am trying to get my marks up for school to attend a study abroad trip to Canada! I will try my very best to update, though)


	5. Why Does America Do the Things He Does

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't die (yet) - school's just been killing me. slowly... I applied for a study abroad trip to Canada, so that's cool. I find out in two weeks or less if I've been accepted (and it's my goal to try Tim Horton's and finally settle that debate once and for all. If I get accepted and get to fly there, I will... I must... see who the victor is in the donut industry - dunkin donuts does have some pretty stellar blueberry donuts, though. donuts are my favourite food, if you couldn't tell.). 
> 
> This continues off directly after the last chapter because I'm still not over that slippers pun. psshk, slippers, hahaha. Here's the link again for references in the chapter: http://oxot.com/banana-shoes/
> 
> Characters in this chapter:  
> -Belgium  
> -Spain  
> -America  
> -Prussia  
> -England  
> -Italy  
> -France

**Belgium:** Hello! :)

 **Spain:** Belgium! Hi

 **America the beautiful:** y o

 **Belgium:**  o hdfmy go sh

 **Spain:**?

 **America the beautiful:** S E A L A N D

 **America the beautiful:** that pun is ace, dude

 **Belgium:** I WAS DRINKING SOMETHING

 **Belgium:** SEALAND’S PUN MADE ME SPIT IT OUT

 **Belgium:** now i have to clean up this milk

 **America the beautiful:** at least we’re here to appreciate seadawg’s stellar pun

 **Spain:** wh

 **Spain:** did you see the stuff on the side??

 **Belgium:** No… i only was focussing on the.. *snickers*.. _Slippers_

 **America the beautiful:** did u just put what you were doing in your text

 **Spain:** How else are we supposed to know what she’s doing if she doesn’t tell us?

 **Belgium:** _thank you,_ spain

 **America the beautiful:** fu ck

 **America the beautiful:** I’M WHEEZING

 **Spain:** _did you see the ear hat_

 **America the beautiful:** tbh, i’m more focused on that popeye tattoo

 **Belgium:** Oh!! That! Yeah, it’s really cool

 **Belgium:** and who needs earmuffs when you have an _ear hat_?

 **Spain:** Wow! That popeye tattoo really is cool

 **Spain:** And put earmuffs over the ear hat for double the warmth!

 **America the beautiful:** yeah, yeah, but here’s what i thought:

 **Belgium:** Oh dear

 **America the beautiful:** when you’re jerking off

 **Belgium:** oh my god

 **America the beautiful:** would it be like?? Popeye is jerking you off??

 **America the beautiful:** you know, cuz it’s supposed to be his hand and everything

 **Spain:** That sounds like something Gilbert would say…

 **America the beautiful:** HE WOULD, WOULDN’T HE

 **America the beautiful:** he would know the answer

 **America the beautiful:** @Pancake Master

**[Pancake Master entered MICRONATION DOMINATION]**

**Pancake Master:** what’s up

 **America the beautiful:** there’s a link above with a tattoo of popeye on the side.

 **Pancake Master:** alright, let me check it out

 **Belgium:** Please don’t

 **Spain:**...i kinda wanna know what he thinks

 **Belgium:** SPAIN

 **Belgium:**..so do I

 **Pancake Master:** yeah, one thought came to mind

 **Pancake Master:** popeye would jerk you off

 **Belgium:** I would leave the chat for a dramatic effect if I didn’t want to stay here.

 **America the beautiful:** THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT

 **America the beautiful:**...i need everyone’s opinion on this

 **Belgium:** PLEASE DON’T

 **America the beautiful:** @everyone

 **Spain:** that feature sounds kind of familiar

 **America the beautiful:** you saw nothing

 **Belgium:** N O

**[England entered ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**England:** STOP ABUSING THE FEATURES

 **America the beautiful:** I’m not!! You don’t even know what i’m doing with it, dude

 **England:** I don’t have to. I already know that it’s for something completely asinine.

 **Pancake Master:** it’s good!!!

 **England:** what the fuck, america

 **Spain:** BUAHDSKJ;

 **America the beautiful:** there’s the real england i know

 **England:** how in the fuck did you think of that

 **England:** is

 **England:** is your mental age _that_ low that that’s the first thing that came to mind??

 **England:** not, “wow, that’s a really cool tattoo” like belgium and spain over here, but… that popeye would _jerk you off_?

**[China entered ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**England:** WHY WOULD POPEYE JERK YOU OFF

**[China left ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**Pancake Master:** IM  FU UCKING  WHE EZING

 **England:** AND WHY IS THE CHAT NAMED MICRONATION DOMINATION

 **America:** hahahaha

**[N. Italy entered ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**England:** _god_

 **England:** i’m revoking your @ privileges

 **America the beautiful:** NO

 **Pancake Master:** HA

 **England:** You, too, Prussia.

 **Pancake Master:** WH AT

 **Pancake Master:** I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING

 **England:** You encouraged him.

 **N. Italy:** …?

**[England deleted America the beautiful’s message: @everyone]**

**[England revoked America the beautiful’s abilities to tag]**

**[England revoked Pancake Master’s abilities to tag]**

**Belgium:** I’m just kind of here at this point watching this go down.

 **Spain:** to be honest, i’m lost

 **N. Italy:** Why was everyone called? Did something happen :o ?

 **England:** America, you idiot.

 **America the beautiful:** I didn’t do anything!!!

 **Pancake Master:** I didn’t do anything more than him!!!

 **Pancake Master:** wait

 **Pancake Master:** i know how to get our tagging back

 **America the beautiful:**???

 **England:** I’m right here, you know.

 **Pancake Master:** _i know who to call_

 **N. Italy:** Who are you going to call?

 **America the beautiful:** GHOSTBUSTERS

 **England:** what the hell

 **Pancake Master:** _you’ll see_

 **Pancake Master:** _just you wait_

 **America the beautiful:** dangerous words to say in front of me, Gilbert

 **America the beautiful:** *clears throat*

 **Belgium:** it’s okay to say actions now??

 **America the beautiful:** ALEXANDER HAMILTON

 **England:** bloody hell

 **America the beautiful:** MY NAME IS ALEXANDER HAMILTON

 **America the beautiful:** AND THERE’S A MILLION THINGS I HAVEN’T DONE

 **America the beautiful:** BUT JUST YOU WAIT

 **America the beautiful:** JUST YOU WAAIIIIT

 **England:** Are you done?

 **America the beautiful:** for now

 **England;** Brilliant. Now, if you could _leave_ , that’d be excellent.

 **Pancake Master:** i did it

 **N. Italy:**?

 **Pancake Master:** i called him

 **England:** Who, exactly, did you call?

 **Pancake Master:** _you’ll see_

 **America the beautiful:** *eagerly waits*

 **Pancake Master:** _no, america_

 **America the beautiful:** *sad america*  
**Belgium:** *raises eyebrows*

 **N. Italy:** *hugs Belgium*

 **Belgium:** *surprised face*

 **Belgium:** *hugs Italy*

 **America the beautiful:** *needs a hug*

 **N. Italy:** *hugs america*

 **America the beautiful:** *happy america*

 **England:** wh a

 **England;** what is wrong with you all

 **Spain:** *joins in because i want to be part*

 **N. Italy:** *hugs Spain*

 **Spain:** *happy spain!!!!*

 **Spain:** *hugs Italy*

 **America the beautiful:** *dabs*

 **England:** *cuts america’s arms off*

 **America the beautiful:** *screams*

 **America the beautiful:** *but also smirks because ‘ohhh, look who’s joining in now’*

 **England:** *glares because i’m only doing this to shame your dabbing*

 **America the beautiful:** *knows that’s not true*

 **Pancake Master:** _he’s here_

**[Fruk me entered ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**Fruk me:** Bonjour~~

 **England:** jmmasdkjl;afjds;fiewos

 **America the beautiful:** THE ULTIMATE WEAPON

 **England:** I’ll have you know that I can make decisions without France’s influence.

 **Spain:** When France isn’t there, sure.. But…

 **N. Italy:** You’re weak around france

 **Belgium:** it’s true… everyone knows it. _You’re soft for france_

 **Pancake Master:** actually, on the contraire

 **Pancake Master:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **America the beautiful:** *high fives prussia*

 **Pancake Master:** *ULTIMATE HIGH FIVE*

 **England:** what did i create

 **Belgium:** h e l l

 **Fruk me:** Why won’t you just let them keep their tagging, chéri?

 **England:** Don’t talk to me in such a way!11;

 **Pancake Master:** bringing out the mixed 1’s and !’s. That means he’s flustered

 **England:** IT DOES NOT

 **Spain:** I can just picture it~

 **Fruk me:** I know that look all too well - his face is red, rising up to his cheeks~

 **Pancake Master:** His face is probably getting redder by the second~

 **Spain:** Do you think that France would be able to take a picture.?

 **Fruk me:** Oh, I most certainly would~

 **Pancake Master:** if you do, make sure to send it to us!

 **Fruk me:** Of course! I wouldn’t think of anything else to do with it~

 **England:** You guys are cruel.

 **England:**...Why must I always be tormented like this?

 **England:** Oh, God. France just walked into the room.

 **Pancake Master:** _you know what to do, Francis_

 **Pancake Master:**...it’s been a couple of minutes.

 **America the beautiful:** you think they’re still alive?

 **N. Italy:** i am so confused

 **Belgium:** Yeah… i’m getting a little lost myself

 **England:** oh  y go d okay

 **England:** He wants me to type it on this.

 **England:** I’ll give you guys your things back

 **America the beautiful:** WOO

 **Fruk me:** _and?_

 **England:** I AM NOT GOING TO SAY THAT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE

 **Fruk me:** I’m only kidding, kidding.

 **Pancake Master:** now give me back my permission, eyebrows

 **England:** _don’t push me_

**[England returned Pancake Master’s abilities to tag]**

**[England returned America the beautiful’s abilities to tag]**

**America the beautiful:** YES

 **America the beautiful:** FREEDOM

 **Fruk me:** My dear Arthur, I must admit, that I can’t delete this photo.

 **England:** _what_

 **Fruk me:** I won’t share it~~ Don’t you worry your little head. It’s just that you look so adorably cute that I must keep it for myself…

 **England;**  HS SA;DJF

 **England:** die

 **America the beautiful:** i can’t see england being cute

 **Pancake Master:** me either, tbh

 **N. Italy:** Maybe if he were a cat!

 **America the beautiful:** Neko England!  
**Pancake Master:** oh no, alfred’s picking up japanese words from kiku. He’s turning into a weeb

 **America the beautiful:** hey!! The word neko is way cuter than cat

 **N. Italy:** What if…

 **N. Italy:** we were all cats

 **Belgium:** !!!!!!!!!!!

 **Belgium:** What a life that would be

 **N. Italy:** I bet your neko would be really cute (=ヮ=)೨

 **Belgium:** Nooo, yours would be way cuter

 **Belgium:** It would have that cute little curl!

 **N. Italy:** :D

 **Pancake Master:** America’s cat would be fat

 **America the beautiful:** Hey!! I’m not fat

 **N. Italy:** Fat cats are always the most loved!

 **Spain:** That’s true! So it’s like Gil just said that you would be loved

 **America the beautiful:** _you hear that, prussia_

 **America the beautiful:** _i’m loved_

 **Belgium:** All cats are cute!!!

 **Pancake Master:** except americat

 **N. Italy:** AMERICAT

 **Spain:** Estados Unekos

 **N. Italy:** :D

 **N. Italy:** I love puns

 **America the beautiful:** shut up!! I am cute, my name says so

 **Spain:** oh!! How did you change your name?

 **Spain:** i want a quirky name!

 **Belgium:** We should all change our names! :D

 **America the beautiful:** Do it!

**Spain:** Italy, Romano already changed his from S. Italy, so why don’t you just take Italy? :D

**N. Italy:** Oh! You’re right! Grazie! ^^

**[N. Italy changed their name to ‘Italy’]**

**[Belgium changed their name to ‘Waffle Master’]**

**Pancake Master:** Hey!! Don’t copy me

 **Waffle Master:** Oh, that is your name, isn’t it?

 **Pancake Master:** DON’T ACT LIKE YOU DON’T KNOW

 **Waffle Master:** I just don’t see you as the Pancake Master, is all.

 **Pancake Master:** wHAT

 **Pancake Master:** I _AM_

 **Waffle Master:** Well… waffles came from Belgium. Pancakes didn’t come from Prussia

 **Pancake Master:** WHERE DID PANCAKES COME FROM, THEN

 **Waffle Master:** _not prussia_

 **Pancake Master:** *flips table*

 **Pancake Master:** i’m gonna google this shit

 **America the beautiful:** hey… i wonder where pancakes _did_ originate. AND *cups hands* IT’S NOT FROM CANADA

 **England:**...I enjoy pancakes.

 **N. Italy:** Really? :O

 **England:** Yes, actually.

 **Fruk me:** Pancake day

 **Spain:**...Pancake Day?

 **England:** Pancake Day is… pretty much a day where everyone just makes pancakes.

 **Pancake Master:** oh my god

 **Pancake Master:** i’m visiting you next pancake day

 **England:** _Please don’t._

**[Spain changed their name to ‘I love tomatoes from my head to ma toes’]**

**America the beautiful:** YES

 **N. Italy:** I laughed at that one!  
**I love tomatoes from my head to ma toes:** Really?!

 **N. Italy:** yes!!

 **I love tomatoes from my head to ma toes:** ^O^

 **England:** it’s a bit long…

 **Fruk me:** _at least it’s better than yours_

 **Fruk me:** You don’t have anything!

 **England:** what!

 **England:** I

 **England:** Fine, alright. I’ll… find something.

 **Fruk me:** REALLY?!?

 **England:** Yes… truth be told, I had … wanted to for a while.

 **Fruk me:** Aww, but you just didn’t want to make it look like you wanted to have fun.

 **Fruk me:** How cute~.

 **England:** _I’ll kill you._

 **England:**... I can’t think of anything creative about me.

 **America the beautiful:** how about “england: bad taste in food and clothes”

 **England:** Fuck off

 **N. Italy:** “England: I shave my legs, but not my eyebrows”

 **America the beautiful:** L;JSDF;LKJASDFWE;OJSA

 **Fruk me:** i vote that one

 **I love tomatoes from my head to ma toes:** Ditto

 **England:** _no._ Absolutely not.

 **Fruk me:** And I can verify that England does, in fact, shave his legs.

 **England:** THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT

 **Fruk me:** but not your eyebrows

 **Fruk me:** Every time you shave your legs, the hair grows back through your eyebrows

 **N. Italy:** Ultimate Power

 **Fruk me:** give me your phone

 **England:** I refuse to speak to you through this application when you are beside me. Speak to me in person.

 **America the beautiful:** oooooo, someone’s in trouble

 **Pancake Master:** I’M BACK

 **N. Italy:** Welcome back!

 **Waffle Master:** Did you find anything?

 **Pancake Master:**...yes

 **Pancake Master:** apparently pancakes are really old

 **Pancake Master:** they either originated in ancient rome or greece

 **N. Italy:** !  
**Pancake Master:** Of course, they changed a lot over time, but the real OGs were in ancient rome and greece

 **N. Italy:** the true pancake masters…

 **Pancake Master:** shit, you’re right

**[Pancake Master changed their name to ‘Pancakes > Waffles’]**

**Waffle Master:** I will slit your throat.

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **pancakes are superior

 **Waffle Master:** Pancakes are just flaps of dough. Waffles are delicately created with a simple, yet entrancing design.

 **Pancakes > Waffles: ** They’re just _squares_.

 **Waffle Master:** _pancakes are just circles_

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **People make pancake art, but not waffle art

 **Waffle Master:** That’s because waffles are already an art in its own.

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **POLL

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **Who thinks that waffles are better and who knows that pancakes are better?

 **Waffle Master:** Waffles.

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **Pancakes.

 **I love tomatoes from my head to ma toes:** I think waffles are, but both are good!

 **Waffle Master:** Spain never disappoints.

 **Waffle Master:** *high fives Spain*

 **N. Italy:**...well… if Rome invented pancakes… I want to go with pancakes.

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **Italy’s opinion is the only one that matters.

 **America the beautiful:** you can’t make me choose!!!  
**America the beautiful:** Pancakes and waffles are both good…

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **CHOOSE, YOU COWARD

 **America the beautiful:** uhhh

 **America the beautiful:** you can’t make me!!!!  
**America the beautiful:** *barrel rolls out the window*

**[America the beautiful left ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**Waffle Master:**...England? France?

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **I don’t think we’ll be expecting an answer from them…

 **Waffle Master:** *sigh*

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **aight, so i’m gonna go

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **see you fools later

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **and italy

**[Pancakes > Waffles left ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**Waffle Master:** Should we change the name back…?

 **N. Italy:** I think it’s okay! It’s fun this way!  
**I love tomatoes from my head to ma toes:** Don’t make it into England’s boring title…

 **Waffle Master:** ‘Nation Concordances’

 **N. Italy:** ‘Nation Con...boredom...ces

 **I love tomatoes from my head to ma toes:** All that matters is that you tried.

 **N. Italy:**!

 **N. Italy:** Hey! I’m gonna go, if you guys don’t mind

 **Waffle Master:** We’ve been here for a while, so ditto!

 **N. Italy:** Alla prossima!

 **Waffle Master:** :3

 **N. Italy:** That emoji is so cute :o

 **N. Italy:** I love emojis!!!

 **I love tomatoes from my head to ma toes:** *(´ヮ`)~*

 **Waffle Master:** So cute!!!

 **N. Italy:** (=ヮ=)೨

**[N. Italy left ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**[Waffle Master left ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**[I love tomatoes from my head to ma toes left ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations (yell at me if I got any of these wrong. I'm a simple woman):  
> FR:  
> Bonjour - Hello (🌠 the more you know 🌠 )  
> Chéri - Darling  
> ES:  
> Estados Unekos - ...It's... a poorly constructed pun... Estados Unidos is Spanish for United States... but... Estados... Unekos... hahaha  
> IT:  
> Alla prossima - Until next time! (Well, it literally means "at the next!", but that sounds a bit odd in translation, so it becomes "until next time!")  
> Grazie - Thank you
> 
> (also. i'm all for team waffles. go waffles!!!)


	6. Pancakes: An International Treasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! So... for this fic, I don't choose the characters myself, but rather, use a randomiser to choose the characters, but i made an exception for this chapter: Canada. Why, you may ask? Well!!! I was totally accepted to that Canada trip!! :O If I'm being honest, I had my hopes set so low so that I would not be disappointed, but I'm so surprised that I was accepted (especially with these marks, eesh). Anyway, I've decided to choose Canada for this chapter in celebration. :) Cheers! Oh, also: the semester has ended, which means that I have free time to write. So I'm really excited! Unfortunately, I've had to prioritise my schoolwork over writing, which I never do, but I had to do so for Canada~~. *blows kiss to the stars* For Matthew. 
> 
> Characters chosen at random to be in this chapter:  
> -Prussia  
> -Italy  
> -Romano

**[Italy entered ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION’]**

**Italy:** Oh! So who ended up being a winner? :o Waffles or pancakes?

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **Pancakes.

 **Italy:** Really?? Wasn’t it a tie or something?

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **p ss h… o f cou rse not….

 **Pancakes > Waffles: ** Just look at my name! _The truth is there_

 **Italy:** I think both are delicious :)

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **but you said pancakes!!! :D

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **cute alsdkjf;lasdk

 **Italy:** Pancakes are really good!!!

**[Maple syrup god entered ‘MICRONATION DOMINATION]**

**Maple syrup god:** YEAH THEY ARE

 **Maple syrup god:** the origin of pancakes may not be known, but everyone knows that canada is the rightful home

 **Pancakes > Waffles: ** _what about prussia_

 **Maple syrup god:** do you really want me to go there

 **Italy:** a dangerous territory

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **i’ll kill you

 **Maple syrup god:** speaking of

 **Italy:** mATTHEW, NO

 **Pancakes > Waffles: ** _continue. I dare you_

 **Maple syrup god:** *cups hands*

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **don’t you dare

 **Maple syrup god:** pru

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **n o

 **Maple syrup god:** ssia

 **Italy:** IS REALLY COOL AND AWESOME, THAT’S ALL

 **Maple syrup god:** damn, italy, you messed me up

 **Italy:** that’s what i would have said!!!

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **wh a

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **you think i’m cool and awesome ?!

 **Italy:** Yes!!! The most!!!

 **Maple syrup god:**...gilbert is one of the coolest people i know

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **REALLY

 **Maple syrup god:** y ea h

 **Italy:** Yay!!!

 **Maple syrup god:** but i still don’t forgive you for taking the title of pancake master from me

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **But i have pancakes and you have maple syrup!! It’s how it goes!

 **Maple syrup god:** Canada is the international home of pancakes! Everyone knows that…

 **Italy:** isn’t that ihop?

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **i love pancakes! And i like making them with you! With our combined pancake and maple syrup skills, we have the power to make the BEST PANCAKES EVER

 **Maple syrup god:**...i’m listening.

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **Matthew, would you do me the honour of becoming my pancake partner for life?

 **Italy:**!!!

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **YOU’RE THE MAPLE SYRUP TO MY PANCAKE

 **Maple syrup god:** hmmm

 **Italy:** *eagerly waits*

 **Maple syrup god:** An interesting proposal…

 **Maple syrup god:** and to that, i say

 **Maple syrup god:** y

 **Maple syrup god:** e

 **Maple syrup god:** s

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **omg

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **AWESOME

 **Italy:** hey! You both :)

 **Italy:** What’s your favourite type of pancake!!!

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **yes

 **Maple syrup god:** same

 **Italy:** There’s lots of stuff you can put in pancakes!

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **Pancakes are perfection and nothing needs to be added to improve them.

 **Maple syrup god:** *wipes tear*

 **Maple syrup god:** you know me so well…

 **Maple syrup god:** i like any, though! Seriously! Pancakes are awesome. I gotta go with, not counting the original, chocolate chip

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **A CLASSIC

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **GREAT CHOICE

 **Maple syrup god:** thank you, thank you

 **Italy:** This is making me really hungry!!

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **Okay, but Mattie makes the best pancakes

 **Maple syrup god:** omg

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **There are lots of different types of pancakes you can make.

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **but none of them compare to matthew’s, tbh

 **Italy:** Oh!! I’ll have to try them some time :o

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **He makes them really fluffy and doughy. Like, they’re so thick that it’s almost cake-y. I love it.

 **Maple syrup god:** you like my pancakes that much ! ?!

 **Maple syrup god:** I’m touched

 **Italy:** Wow! They sound really yummy ＼(＾▽＾)／

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **LET’S ALL GET TOGETHER ONE DAY AND EAT PANCAKES

 **Maple syrup god:** omg, yes

 **Italy:** Yay!

**[RomaNO entered ‘MICRONATIOIN DOMINATION’]**

**RomaNO:** Oh, god, it’s still here

 **Italy:** Lovino!!!

 **RomaNO:** Oh, god, you’re still here

 **Italy:** Gilbert and Matthew just invited me for pancakes :)

 **RomaNO:** And?

 **Italy:** Do you want to come? :D

 **RomaNO:** Do I want to… eat pancakes with you?

 **Italy:** Yeah!! I’m sure they won’t mind!

 **Pancakes > Waffles: ***cough* ya sure?

 **RomaNO:** fuck you

 **Maple syrup god:** Gilbert!! That’s mean, don’t’cha think?

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **I WAS ONLY JOKING

 **Italy:** Lovino is sensitive!!! You have to be nice to him

 **RomaNO:** What!! Shut up, i’m not sensitive

 **Italy:** You are!

 **RomaNO:** I’ll kill you

 **Italy:** There’s nothing wrong with being sensitive!

 **RomaNO:** Yes there is, shut up

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **There isn’t! Feli is right

 **RomaNO:** I wasn’t talking to you,dickweed

 **Maple syrup god:** eheheh…

 **Maple syrup god:** dickweed…

 **RomaNO:** who are you?

 **Maple syrup god:** oh cOME ON

 **Maple syrup god:** don’t you think that joke is getting a little old??

 **RomaNO:**...joke?

 **Italy:** I think he meant it genuinely.. :o your name isn’t canada on here!

 **RomaNO:** oh, so it’s canada

 **RomaNO:** i’m pissing myself laughing because i didn’t know i had accidentally contributed to the joke

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **you’re the joke

 **RomaNO:** you wanna fucking go

 **Italy:** Be nice…

 **Maple syrup god:** Aw, he’s just joking

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **did anyone hear something?

 **Maple syrup god:** If you’re doing what i fucking think you’re doing, i will kill you

 **RomaNO:** *whispers* you can’t kill what’s already dead

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **I LAUGHED AT THAT ONE

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **Also, fuck you

 **Italy:** Oh my…

 **Maple syrup god:** You deserved it.

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **I heard it again!

 **Italy:** psssh

 **RomaNO:** i gotta say, i think it’s funny that this joke is still going on

 **Italy:** What joke? :o

 **RomaNO:** Some years ago

 **Maple syrup god:** oh no

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **oh yes

 **RomaNO:** Matthew lost his glasses

 **RomaNO:** So he had to borrow an extra pair of Alfred’s for that world meeting (which I HAD TO GO TO whilst you handled whatever you were doing that same day)

 **Italy:** I remember! I’m sorry!! It was super important, though! At least there’s two Italys so you can handle the meeting on your own :D

 **RomaNO:** yeah, yeah, whatever

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **everyone mistook mattie for alfred that day cuz they look so alike

 **RomaNO:** Hey, i was telling the story here, pisswad

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **you were too slow

 **RomaNO:** fuck off

 **Italy:** Watch your language, Lovino! (⇀‸↼‶)

 **RomaNO:** _oh, i’m sorry_

 **RomaNO:** vaffanculo

 **Italy:** That’s not what I meant!!!

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **So no one knew where Matthew was cuz they all thought he was Alfred!

 **Italy:** Where was Alfred?

 **Maple syrup god:** He was picking up fucking dunkin donuts before arrival

 **Pancakes > Waffles: ** _america runs on dunkin_

 **Maple syrup god:** gilbert, i swear-

 **RomaNO:** so because alfred wasn’t there, everyone thought that matthew was alfred

 **RomaNO:** it was fucking hilarious

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **It was, tbh

 **Maple syrup god:** I TOLD EVERYONE THAT I WASN’T ALFRED, BUT NO ONE BELIEVED ME

 **Maple syrup god:** fuck alfred for always joking around

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **Hey!! We thought that alfred was just messing with us

 **Maple syrup god:** i almost kicked his ass when he did finally arrive

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **He bought everyone donuts!!!

 **Maple syrup god:** that’s why I didn’t kick his ass

 **Italy:** But I thought you didn’t like Dunkin Donuts? :o

 **Maple syrup god:** That idiot had gone to Tim Hortons and bought me a box because he knew i wouldn’t eat dunkin

 **Italy:** OMG

 **Italy:** That’s so sweet!

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **After we saw that Mattie really wasn’t Alfred, we kept on teasing him

 **Italy:** So did everyone start the joke or did one person?

 **Maple syrup god:** you wanna know who fucking started it

 **Italy:** Yes!

 **Maple syrup god:** England and Prussia

 **Italy:** England!?

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **yeah, it turns out that arthur has a sense of humour

 **Maple syrup god:** He started laughing and asking why there were two alfreds

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **It was so funny

 **Italy:** Aw :( I wish I could have been there!

 **Maple syrup god:** and when i thought the joke was dead, AT THE HALLOWEEN PARTY LATER THAT YEAR, PRUSSIA HAD ME DRESS AS A GHOST

 **Maple syrup god:** I DIDN’T FUCKING KNOW

 **RomaNO:** You had it coming

 **Italy:** Oh! I remember that. I thought everyone was just playing along with your costume :(

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **At one of the next meetings, Germany even played along and put two nameplates that said “United States of America”

 **RomaNO:** I was pissing myself laughing

 **Italy:** That’s so sad!

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **DON’T FEEL BAD FOR MATTHEW

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **He got me back

 **Maple syrup god:** hahahaha, yeah, yeah, i did

 **Italy:** Oh no! What did you do?

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **Do you remember that time I showed up with BRIGHT RED HAIR

 **Italy:** Yeah! Everyone was calling you Ronald McDonald

 **RomaNO:** damn, that was funny

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **MATTIE PUT HAIR DYE IN MY SHAMPOO

 **Maple syrup god:** Yep~~

 **Maple syrup god:** I ‘accidentally’ spilt the maple syrup on Gilbert so that he would take a shower, muahaha

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **yOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE/ !?

 **Maple syrup god:** oh.. Did you not know that?

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **NO

 **Maple syrup god:** oops

 **RomaNO:** IM  U FKC ING WHEE ZING

 **RomaNO:** maybe this chat wasn’t a mistake

 **Italy:** It’s very fun!

 **RomaNO:** okay, but why is the name micronation domination??

 **Maple syrup god:** Alfred did it

 **RomaNO:** figures…

 **Italy:** We should change it! :D

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **What about… Canadeh

 **Maple syrup god:** canad _eh_

 **Maple syrup god:** i hate you

 **Italy:** We know what happened last time that the chat was someone’s name…

 **Maple syrup god:** FUCK DSJFK;

 **Maple syrup god:** I JUST BOUGHT ANOTHER CHAIR

 **Maple syrup god:** i can’t risk it again, nope

 **Italy:** But it’s been this name for a long time!

 **Italy:** Wait!!!

**[Italy changed the chat’s name to ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’]**

**Italy:** Now it’s festive!

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **Oh, right! It doesn’t really feel like Christmastime, you know?

 **Italy:** I think that the more Christmases we live through, the less exciting it becomes. It’s just… another day.

 **RomaNO:** shit, feli, that’s depressing

 **Italy:** hehe

 **Maple syrup god:** i disagree

 **Italy:**!

**[Maple syrup god is typing…]**

**Maple syrup god:** The feeling of Christmas… You would expect there to be an exact feeling to describe the softness and cheerfulness to go along with the holiday season, yet after all of these years, despite all of the Christmases that have passed, Christmas has no adjective to describe itself. It in itself is an adjective, able to reproduce such warm feelings each year that feel brand new. Is it the nostalgia of listening to the same Christmas songs each year? Is it the glimmering gold lights in the snow? What is Christmas? To this, I answer: all. Everything. Christmas is all of the cheer in the world, taken in a ball, moulded into familiarity, the unknown, and the awaited.

 **RomaNO:** holy shit

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **That was beautiful, mattie. Holy shit, indeed

 **Maple syrup god:** oh, heh, thank you

 **Italy:** Oh, wow! :o I guess you’re right!

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **oh, shit

 **Italy:**?

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **I FORGOT I WAS MAKING ICE CREAM

 **Pancakes > Waffles: **I GTG

**[Pancakes > Waffles left ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’]**

**Italy:** Ice cream? :D

 **Maple syrup god:** Yeah, neapolitan

 **Maple syrup god:** Neapolitan ice cream originated in prussia :)

 **Italy:** Wow!! Is Prussia good at making it?

 **Maple syrup god:** Of course!

 **Italy:** Do you think he could make some when we have pancakes?

 **Maple syrup god:** Yeah!!!

 **RomaNO:** Do you think… i can have some?

 **Maple syrup god:** Yeah, sure!

 **Italy:** Yeah! We can make some for everyone :D

 **Italy:** Neapolitan ice cream is so yummy!

 **RomaNO:** Three ice creams all in one…

 **Maple syrup god:** Ice cream is a gift to this world.

 **Maple syrup god:** FUCK

 **Maple syrup god:** i just heard a really loud noise in the kitchen

 **Maple syrup god:** I WALKED INTO THE KITCHEN AND PRUSSIA IS ON THE FLOOR COVERED IN ICE CREAM

 **RomaNO:** take a picture

 **Maple syrup god:** BRB

**[Maple syrup god left ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’]**

**RomaNO:** Sooo, no picture?

 **Italy:** He could have been hurt!

 **RomaNO:** Oh no, creamy deliciousness was spilt on him. He might die.

 **Italy:** I’m gonna call him to see if he’s okay :c

**[Italy left ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’]**

**RomaNO:** shit, now i want ice cream

 **RomaNO:** i’m gonna get some gelato

**[RomaNO left ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prussia is fine. He's covered in ice cream; it's his dream come true. Also, next time you're eating Neapolitan ice cream, remember to thank the Prussians.  
> Translations:  
> IT:  
> Vaffanculo - F*ck off (the characters swear, but I don't. Ironic, right?)
> 
> Fun fact: When I first saw Canada when I was watching Hetalia for the first time, my first thought was, "Why are there two Americas?" I didn't know!!! I'm sorry, Canada!


	7. Nation Concordances: The Christmas Special

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! :) I had been wanting to post this earlier than this hour, but I hadn't the time! I had to make it much shorter than I would have liked, aghh. I hope you had a nice Christmas! :D (for those who celebrate)  
> (I also tried some new stuff with the links this chapter, just messing about)
> 
>  
> 
> (I love it when I spin characters that have relations to each other)  
> Characters chosen at random to be in this chapter:  
> Belgium (Waffle Master)  
> Iceland  
> Norway  
> Austria  
> Finland  
> Prussia (Pancakes > Waffles)  
> America (America the beautiful)

 

**[Waffle Master entered ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’]**

**Waffle Master:** Merry Christmas, everyone! :3

**Iceland:** Oh.. I thought i was the only one here. Merry Christmas, Emma.

**Waffle Master:** Haha ^^   
**Waffle Master:** So, are you doing anything fun today?

**Iceland:** Not much… Just hanging out with the rest of the group, i guess. Finland likes all of us to be together during the holidays. 

**[Norway entered ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’]**

**Norway:** Merry Christmas, everyone.

**Norway:** :)

**Iceland:** You’re in a good mood today…

**Norway:** It’s hard not to be joyful around the holidays.

**Norway:** Especially when you’re with Finland…

**Iceland:** I can’t believe he had that many Christmas trees…

**Norway:** I didn’t know what I was to expect, if i’m being honest.

**Iceland:** You expect one thing  _ but it’s always more _ . Tino finds a way to outdo himself each year

**Waffle Master:** That sounds like so much fun! He’s so good at Christmas :o

**Iceland:** Yeah… it is fun, i have to admit. 

**[Austria entered ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’]**

**Austria:** I see you’re already discussing Christmas…

**Austria:** In that notion, Merry Christmas.

**Waffle Master:** Merry Christmas, Roderich!

**Waffle Master:** Are you doing anything special? :)

**Austria:** I’m walking around the Christmas markets in Vienna. I don’t buy anything, but I like to appreciate the scenery.

**Waffle Master:** Oh! Vienna is very beautiful.

**Austria:** I agree.

**Austria:** Vienna is very cultured and charming, truly wonderful.

**Waffle Master:** Of course :) I love Vienna. 

**Austria:** :-)

**Iceland:** ...you put noses on your smileys?

**Austria:** Yes… why would I not? We have noses.

**Norway:** It looks awkward.

**Waffle Master:** Aw.. C’mon guys~. All smileys are cute!

**Iceland:** What about :3c

**Waffle Master:** It looks like a kitty!!! Of course it’s cute!

**[Finland entered ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’]**

**Finland:** Hi, everyone!   
**Finland:** Merry Christmas!

**Waffle Master:** Merry Christmas :)

**Waffle Master:** Wow! People keep on joining! Is it because it’s Christmas?

**Austria:** I could only assume so. 

**Finland:** Christmas is fun! It brings out the cheer in even the most grumpy of people.

**Finland:** I know I even saw Iceland smile a few times today!

**Iceland:** What? I wasn’t smiling… That’s just embarrassing. 

**Finland:** Emil! I didn’t know you were in here! Who else is here?

**Norway:** I’m here.

**Finland:** Lukas!

**Waffle Master:** And then it’s just me and roderich :3

**Finland:** So! Did you guys receive any gifts from Santa?

**Iceland:** *looks into the camera like I’m on the office*

**Waffle Master:** hehe. Of course!

**Norway:** Yes, plus the gifts you bought us.

**Waffle Master:** That sounds like fun!

**Finland:** Thank you! I wish I could just have a big, giant Christmas party for all of the nations!

**Iceland:** Isn’t america having one?

**Waffle Master:** I don’t think this year, but he is having a new year party in new york

**Finland:** They’re pretty fun, I have to say :D

**[Pancakes > Waffles entered ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’]**

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE

**Waffle Master:** MERRY CHRISTMAS, PRUSSIA

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** I just gave Ludwig a totally awesome gift B)

**Finland:** Wow! What did you get him?

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** [ [image attached] ](https://i.pinimg.com/236x/3a/e2/24/3ae22428cec0752ce846c643623eca44--hetalia-germany-hetalia-axis-powers.jpg)

**Waffle Master:** A PUPPY!!!!

**Austria:** Oh, wow.

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** He won’t stop playing with her

**Waffle Master:** So the pup is a girl? :D

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** yeah, of course. Didn’t you see her underside? She doesn’t have a dick

**Austria:** Oh my God. 

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** HOLY SHIT

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** GERMANY IS SMILING

**[America the beautiful entered ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’]**

**America the beautiful:** HE FUCKING WHAT

**Waffle Master:** pics or it didn’t happen   
**Austria:** He does smile, you know…

**Austria:** I’ve seen him smile plentiful.

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** Smile?? Near you?? Unlikely. 

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** you bring frowns

**Waffle Master:** Gilbert!!!

**Waffle Master:** It’s Christmas!

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** Oh, my bad

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** Merry Christmas, Roderich. You bring frowns

**Austria:** I’m not amused.

**America the beautiful:** HEYYY

**America the beautiful:** It’s christmas!! Emma is rightttt

**America the beautiful:** and gilbert, don’t think you’re getting out of this

**Waffle Master:** SEND THE PICTURE

**America the beautiful:** send ittt

**Waffle Master:** Sendit t t titt

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** let me take one, first!! Jeesh

**Waffle Master:** >:)

**America the beautiful:** MWAHAHAHA

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** [ [image attached] ](https://dubsism.files.wordpress.com/2017/12/image-not-found.png?w=547)

**America the beautiful:** hahaha

**Waffle Master:** NO

**America the beautiful:** GOOD ONE *high five*

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** okay, okay. Here’s the real one:  [ [image attached] ](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/onw91e0KLz8/maxresdefault.jpg)

**Waffle Master:** omg

**America the beautiful:** HE PROTECC

**America the beautiful:** HE ATTAC

**America the beautiful:** BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY

**America the beautiful:** HE SMILE BACC

**Waffle Master:** is that the puppy or ludwig, i can’t tell

**America the beautiful:** HE LOOKS HAPPY

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** the pup wouldn’t stop licking his face

**Waffle Master:** AWWW

**Finland:** Did he name her yet?

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** no

**Waffle Master:** Oooh! Tell me when he does! I bet it’ll be cute :D

**Finland:** Me, too!

**America the beautiful:** o OF

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** WHAT HAPPENED

**America the beautiful:** apparently the people from the polar express HAVE NAMES

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** WHAT

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** THEY DIDN’T HAVE NAMES BEFORE ??

**America the beautiful:** no!!! I always liked how they didn’t have names, you know? They managed to make a fantastic movie without really giving names. NOW THAT I KNOW THE NAMES, I WON’T BE ABLE TO UNKNOW THEM

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** what are the names??

**Waffle Master:** DON’T SAY THEM

**Waffle Master:** It’ll ruin it!

**America the beautiful:** Alright, alright! If ya wanna find out, google it

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** will do

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** WH aT 

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** THEY REALLY DO. that’s wild

**America the beautiful:** The only kid that really had a name announced in the movie was Billy. You know, the one that sings that song?

**Waffle Master:** That song is good

**America the beautiful:** the hot chocolate song > any other song that was ever released

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** I AGREE

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** i never drank hot chocolate the same way again after hearing that song

**America the beautiful:** HOT HOT

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** OOH WE GOT IT

**America the beautiful:** HOT HOT

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** HEY WE GOT IT

**Waffle Master:** HOT HOT

**America the beautiful:** SAY, WE GOT IT

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** HOT CHOCOLATE

**Waffle Master;** how do you guys like your hot chocolate?

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** hot

**America the beautiful:** when it’s really hot, i like to put whipped cream on it!

**America the beautiful:** it makes it creamy

**Waffle Master:** Oooh, that sounds really good :D

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** THE PUPPY PEED ON THE FLOOR

**Waffle Master:** Oh no!

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** I HAVE TO CLEAN IT UP

**Waffle Master:** Nooo! Do you have to leave?

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** yeeaah. I don’t want a mess

**Waffle Master:** Aw :(

**America the beautiful:** I hope you have a great rest of Christmas, then!

**Waffle Master:** Yeah!!! Pet the pup for us!

**America the beautiful:** AND DON’T FORGET TO TELL US THE NAME

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** i won’t, don’t worry

**Pancakes > Waffles: ** fröhliche weihnachten! 

**America the beautiful:** o(≧▽≦)o

**[Pancakes > Waffles left ‘Merry Christmas’]**

**Waffle Master:** I should be leaving, too! I was spending Christmas with Abel and Antonio, hehe

**America the beautiful:** sounds fun! Tell them hi for me :)

**Waffle Master:** Okay! Hey! Who are you spending Christmas with? Mattie, right?

**America the beautiful:** arthur n’ francis invited me and Mattie over, so we’re with them. 

**America the beautiful:** and before you ask, francis is cooking. I won’t be taking a trip to the hospital

**Waffle Master:** haha. Lay off of arthur~~ It’s Christmas!

**America the beautiful:** Man, if you weren’t so sweet, i would continue. But arthur, if you’re reading this…  _ tomorrow isn’t christmas. It’s free range _

**Waffle Master:** Aww, i’m gonna go. \\(^ω^)/

**Waffle Master:** Have a great christmas, alfred : D

**America the beautiful:** you, too :)

**[America the beautiful left ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’]**

**[Waffle Master left ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS’]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I love writing Belgium, I have learnt. :D I imagine her to get along with Prussia and America really well, haha. I feel as if she'd be the type of person to get along with everyone. Like, she can be the cheerful cinnamon roll she is, but she also has a mischievous spirit.  
> *The bit where they're overboard praising Vienna, that was a bit of a joke to myself. My name is Vienna, haha.  
> *I also see Iceland and Norway as the type of people in a groupchat to ghost around.  
> *I'm so happy that I spun Finland for this chapter, muahaha. It's like the wheel knew~.  
> *If you actually read these, thank you for listen to my rambling. Just for you, here's a pun:  
> How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?  
> Nothing. It was on the house.  
> Badum chhh.  
> Translations:  
> DE:  
> Fröhliche Weihnachten! - Merry Christmas!


End file.
